Burning hot rage bubbles through my body, I can barely contain myself, I feel like I’m falling apart.
“An investigator will look in to it, that is for sure,” the police officer declares. I hope that his serious tone means he really will follow through on this. “I think that you might be right. This doesn’t seem like an electrical fire. And Mr. Jones… well, there is something about his state of mind that has me very concerned.”
Yeah, fucking me too! I’m concerned about Esme though and what he’s going to do with her.
“I talked to him and… well, his answers were weird. We need to look in to that some more.”
“Where is he now?” I half growl. It’s hard to keep my emotions down, I don’t want everyone to realize that I’m so personally connected to this or they might keep me out of the loop when it comes to communication. Not that I knew anything about Esme being involved when I ran in to the flames. I just saw cars in the parking lot, I didn’t register what the cars looked like, and I raced in with some of the others to find Esme in a heap in the middle of the stairs. She inhaled a lot of smoke when she was on the floor, but I think that she might be okay… I hope that she is.
“He’s at the hospital, but there are guards around him because we don’t want to lose him.”
I am free to leave, to go to the hospital whenever I need to. I can go and check in on Esme as soon as she is awake again, but right now I feel like I need to be here, I need to be with the police officers to make sure that they aren’t fucking up the investigation. I need them to know that there is something going on here. Something more than just a general fire. Thankfully it seems like they don’t need me to declare that, but I still have to. I can’t stop myself.
Also, if I go straight to the hospital, there is no guarantee that I will keep away from the boss either, and I don’t know how I will be able to control myself around him. He put Esme in danger and I might kill him. The idea of him anywhere near me right now is destructive. I could wrap my arms around his neck and absolutely destroy him.
“Okay, so what do you need me to do right here?” I ask, in a bit of a demanding tone because I am desperate. “What do you need help with? Do you want my advice on the investigation or something?”
The police officer shakes his head. “No, and Tamara keeps telling me that you shouldn’t even be working right now, that you finished your shift earlier, so if you need to go home then that’s what you should do.”
It’s frustrating, but I nod and rejoin my crew, ready to return to the fire station with them. We have all been interviewed about our point of view and I suppose I have said everything that I need to… but I’m still not one hundred percent sure that I will get my end goal here. I’m scared that she will end up not getting justice…
“That was no electrical fire,” I complain to anyone who will listen. “That was something else. There was an accelerant, I’m telling you. That was started by someone. It didn’t get out of hand, that’s what someone wanted.”
I don’t know if anyone is listening to me, I’m not sure if they agree with me, which enrages me even more. If the others haven’t said the same thing as me, then there is a potential that this could not go the way I want.
“What do you think it was?” I ask Tamara, needing her point of view. She gives me a strange look, as if she can’t work out why I’m so obsessed with the cause of this fire in particular. “What do you think started it?”
“It isn’t up to us to find out, is it?” She shrugs her shoulders. “It’s for investigators. Even if I have an opinion on the fire, it doesn’t mean anything. I might not think that it was an electrical fire, but we will find out in time. Theo, that isn’t for you to worry about. And I think that might be because you’re so tired and stressed out. It’s time for you to go home as soon as we get back because we need you back at work for your next shift, right as reign.”
I sigh loudly, trying not to let my irritation shine through, but I can’t seem to stop it. Tamara must be able to sense it, but she says nothing more. I guess that she knows I won’t go in to detail with her, not like Joe.