Me: First of all, why isn’t he at work with Ben? Secondly, you freaking out is definitely not good for the baby, so calm down please. And third, do you really think Luke is the type of guy to ditch his pregnant girlfriend? I’ve only been around him a few times and I know he isn’t like that.
Tessa: I’m not his girlfriend! I don’t know what the hell I am, but he’s never labeled me as that. Fuck buddy seems more appropriate.
Tessa: Ben is riding solo tonight. They don’t always patrol together.
I chuckle and prop a pillow under my head.
Me: Just grow a pair and tell him. And I say that in my best Tessa style voice because you know that’s exactly what you’d be saying to me. :)
Tessa: Speaking of growing a pair…
Me: Shut up.
Tessa: Just saying, bitch.
I know exactly what she is getting at. Grow a pair. Please. I told Ben that I’m in danger of causing permanent damage to my hand from excessive masturbation and I need to grow a pair? I turn onto my side and tuck one hand underneath my head. My phone beeps again and this time, I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my face.
Ben: I can’t wait to hear all about it. See ya in a few hours.
I look at the time on my phone. Three hours and forty three minutes to be exact. Not that I’m counting.
* * *
“Mia? Mia, hey, wake up.”
“Hmm?” My eyes slowly open and Ben’s face comes into view. “Oh, hey. Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I roll over onto my back and stretch my arms over my head, seeing Ben’s eyes drop to my body and widen before he quickly turns away from me. And I mean quickly, as in he can’t get me out of his sight fast enough. I furrow my brows. “What? What is it?”
He clears his throat as I sit up, still completely oblivious to whatever it is that’s making him react to me this way. He stays facing the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “You might want to put something on. Your…breasts are really noticeable in that top.”
Breasts? Oh, how formal.
I glance down quickly, seeing my erect nipples poking through my sheer tank. But I’m not embarrassed at all. I’m irritated. Really irritated all of a sudden. My boobs are making him uncomfortable? Well, that’s just great. I stand up with a clenched jaw and walk past him, grabbing the hoodie I had taken off earlier and slipping it over my head. “Christ, Ben. You act like you haven’t seen them before or sucked them for that matter.” I snap my head in his direction and see the shock on his face. “They’re just tits.”
“They’re your tits,” he states, his expression toughening and his voice edgy. The sight of my chest weeks ago would’ve provoked an entirely different reaction out of him. Now he’s desensitized to it. Awesome.
I ignore the stare he is giving me and refuse to let go of my annoyance. This is maddening. “And my tits make you uncomfortable. But I guess they should, considering how friendly you and I have become.” I grab Nolan’s books and shove them into his duffle bag.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, but I ignore him. I’m too focused on getting his shit together so he can leave.
“Here. He was great. Didn’t give me a bit of trouble.” I thrust the duffle bag into his chest, stalking past him and grabbing my phone. “My tits and I are going to bed before we freak you out even more.” I don’t turn back around as I walk toward my bedroom. I don’t want to see if my words affect him, especially since my body apparently doesn’t anymore. What the fuck? My boobs that he couldn’t get enough of weeks ago are now being held hostage in his stupid friend zone against their will. And they are not happy about it one bit.
Join the club.
I rip my hoodie off and throw it in the corner of my room with a grunt. I’m annoyed, hurt, and really horny. Three emotions that are pissing me off at the moment. I grab my phone to respond to Tessa’s last text message.
Me: Your brother infuriates me! I’m turned on, pissed off, and sick of this stupid friend zone. I can’t be friends with someone that brings me to orgasm in my dreams every night. And I’m tired of getting off on the memory of Ben. Oh, and your get naked idea wouldn’t have worked. My tits were just on display for him and he acted offended by them.
I press send and throw my phone down, reaching up and undoing the hair tie that is securing my hair in a loose bun. Just as my hair falls down my back, my bedroom door swings open and Ben stands in the doorway with that blazing look of his that leaves scorch marks on my skin. But right now, it doesn’t have that effect on me. Right now, it makes me want to punch him right in the throat.
“I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.”
He steps into the room and closes the door behind him. “Did you mean what you just sent me?”
I furrow my brow into a tight line. “What are you talking about? What do you mean what I just sent you?” I stand up off the bed and glare at him. I’m still mad, pissed even, but now I’m confused as hell. And then I see it, the cell phone he’s gripping and a panic surges through my system. My legs feel weak underneath me and my chest feels so tight it’s as if I’m breathing through a straw. I grab my phone and scroll to the text that I thought I sent to Tessa. But I didn’t send it to Tessa. I lift my eyes and watch as Ben reaches behind him and locks the door, never taking his bright eyes off me. I toss my phone back onto the bed and take a deep breath before responding. “Yes. I meant it.” My answer is firm and definite. This is not the time to half ass anything. He’s giving me an opportunity and I’m taking it.
He smiles that cocky grin that drives me insane. “Do you want me, baby?”
“No, I need to hear you say it. I’ll give you whatever you want, Mia. But I won’t risk misinterpreting what I’ve just read. Tell me exactly what you want.” He stops right in front of me, keeping his body inches from mine. He’s so close to me right now it’s almost unbearable. I know exactly what I want. Him. And I’m not above being forward with him right now. I understand his hesitation. He doesn’t want to take this somewhere and not be positive that I want to go with him. But he doesn’t know I’d follow him anywhere. Anywhere.
I blink heavily before eliminating all space between us, pressing my body against his. He doesn’t tense at all, but he doesn’t wrap his arms around me either. “I don’t want to be just friends. I don’t think I ever did.” I press my hand to his chest, flattening against his heartbeat and feeling his reaction to me. “I want you, Ben. All of you. Your hands, your mouth, your…” I look down, pausing for the courage I need.
“Say it,” he growls. God, I love the authority in his voice.
I don’t hesitate at his command. Looking into his eyes, I say exactly what I want with the certainty he needs. “Cock. I’ve thought of you touching me constantly since we were together that first night. It’s all I’ve thought about.”
His hands come up and he cups my face. “I won’t be able to hold back.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“It’s going to be really fucking intense. I don’t think I can be gentle with you right now. It’s been too damn long since I’ve had my hands on you and I’m about to start ripping shit apart.”