A knot of frustration and anger formed in my chest. My hands clenched into fists. If they wanted to know what I wanted, then I’d tell them. What did it matter at this point? When they announced Walker was also my husband, it seemed civilized rules didn’t matter. And so I opened my mouth and told them.
I spun about, lifted my chin and said, “I want a man who won’t ignore me. Who will smile at me and offer reasonable conversation. I want a man who is respectful and courteous. I want more than a man to give me food and shelter. I want a husband.”
“You get two, then, doll, who will do all that,” Walker said when I took a breath.
I held up my hand. “I’m not done. I want someone who is all mine. To share secrets and laugh.”
Once I began, it was easy to just let it all out, to share what I wanted. That’s why I didn’t stop.
“I also want to be fucked, well and good. I don’t want it at night, in the dark. I don’t want a quick rut, then nothing. I want fulfillment, wild abandon.” I thought of John’s mistress, how she’d loved what he’d been doing to her before they were discovered. “I want to be tied up. Taken. Do things I never even imagined.”
I was breathing hard, my skin hot and prickly. There, I’d said it. I’d said exactly what I wanted, everything I never said to John.
Both men’s gazes darkened and turned intense.
“I’m proud of you for sharing that. It must have been hard for you to admit the last,” Walker said, his words of praise acting like a balm. “You had a taste of what it will be like with Luke. While it was a quick rut, it was wild and full of abandon.”
I felt the soreness of our actions between my thighs, unaccustomed to a man of his size and his… vigor.
“Yes. That’s true.” I shook my head slowly. “But I won’t be married to a man… to men, who stray. I won’t be cast aside again. If I’m not enough, turn me away now.”
“Turn you away?” Luke asked. “I’ll turn you over my knee if you even think about walking out that door.”
My eyes widened and I felt my cheeks heat at the idea of being placed in such a position. I remembered John’s mistress and how she’d liked it when he’d spanked her bare bottom. The sound of it, that skin against skin crack and then a fiery burst of stinging pain. I wanted that. I wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to know it all.
“I can see that excites you. Doesn’t it, sweetheart?” Luke asked.
I bit my lip, wondering if I should admit the truth. The truth, though, was well and truly out, so what was the point of denying it now? And so I nodded.
Luke stepped toward me, but I held still, not letting him know I was a little wary. I wasn’t afraid of them, but I’d never been completely honest with John, never shared the darkest of secrets with him. The truth was powerful and so I wondered what they would say… or do, next.
“We’ll never want another,” he murmured.
His tone was even, his voice earnest.
I looked up at him, saw the serious expression. “How can you say that? I… I didn’t please John. I won’t have you fuck me then find me lacking. I’d rather you decide you don’t want me now, before… before I have feelings.”
“Lacking?” Luke asked. “Walker, when you were watching me fuck our bride, did it look like I found Celia lacking?”
“Hell, no. Woman,” Walker growled. “We’ll say it one last time. You’ll stay and we won’t stray.”
The vehemence of his tone had me believing him, but the doubt still lingered. “I—”
“You’ve given this worry to us. Let it go,” Luke added. The back of his knuckles stroked down my cheek and I shivered. “You want us to take control, to give you what you need.”
Did I? Did I want them to take my worries away? Was that why I told them those secrets? Was it so that they could know the truth and want me anyway, to do exactly what I wanted?
My gaze met his, then skittered over his shoulder to look at the decorative wallpaper. “How can you do that, give me what I need, I mean, when… when I don’t even know what I need?”
Walker moved closer. I had one man in front of me, the other at my side, Walker’s big hand gentle on my shoulder. “We’ll discover it together. Enough for tonight. You’re exhausted and we’ve given you quite a surprise. While I desperately want to feel the heat of your pussy around my cock, I’m sure you’re a little tender. Hmm?”
Would I ever stop blushing? “Yes,” I admitted.