I guess I’m a cuddler. I’ve never had the opportunity to find out before if I am or not, but it’s pretty freaking clear now with how I’m all over the poor man. Not only did I crash his Christmas, but now I’m taking up his bed and every inch of his personal space.
It’s then I realize how truly all over him I am. I have one leg thrown over him, and it’s clearly resting on something very large…and very hard. Does that mean he’s awake? Do men get boners in their sleep? I try to recall the millions of romances novels I’ve read and narrated, like they’re all factual. I come up blank on the whole boners-when-asleep thing, not having read about it before.
I shuffle a little, making my leg move, and Alex lets out a moaning grunt. I go completely rigid like a dumbass, giving myself away. I wait, but the silence stretches, neither of us calling the other out.
I want to remain still, but my traitorous body takes over, needing to hear that sound again. I shuffle against him again, wanting more of his warmth to seep into me. I feel like burrowing so deep into his heat, I could never get out. I’d never be alone again.
Instantly, I’m on my back. Alex’s big body is over mine as he buries his face in my neck. He’s so big compared to me, and I’m completely covered beneath him. Fear doesn’t hit me at the sudden change in position. A strong dose of lust ripples up my spine and floods my system. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I’m immediately addicted.
I lift my hips, needing the contact, letting my legs fall open even more.
“Please. You have to stop.” His voice seems strangled and almost pained, but for some reason I can’t stop. It’s like I no longer have control of my body. Maybe this is what happens when you let yourself go without physical attention for so long. The need for human contact becomes stronger than you can control.
I grip his biceps, my nails digging into his firm muscles. I just need a little more pressure. It’s so close I can feel it. I push my hips up against him, using him for my pleasure. I drag my sex against his, but he remains completely still over me. His hold is firm and steady, and my hips move at just the right angle, and that’s all it takes. I explode against him, his name pouring from my lips and filling the silent room. The delicious pleasure cascades through my body as heat spreads between us.
I hold on to him so tightly, as if he’ll disappear if I release him. Not wanting to let this moment go, I cling to him. For so long I dreamed of having him over me and now that it’s a reality, I can’t let it end. The distance he’s always tried to keep between us vanishes in this moment, and I’m going to savor it.
When I start to come down, the reality of what I just did hits me. I just rubbed myself against him, using him for my own pleasure. I hear and feel his heavy breathing on top of me, both our bodies gasping for air, filling the silence that seems to hang between us constantly. It’s a silence I long to fill with words I can’t bring myself to say.
Then he’s gone. His warmth leaves my body, taking all of mine with him as he shoots from the bed. The blanket that was covering us hits the floor. The cold air makes goosebumps break out all over my body. He doesn’t say a word as he storms from the room, slamming the door behind him so hard I swear I feel the bed shake.
“Holy shit,” I whisper to myself. That’s when I feel the wetness that’s coating the outside of my underwear.
I thought cumming was a good thing. Clearly Alex isn’t happy about it. He stormed from the room like his ass was on fire. Oh, my God. Did I force myself on him? Wait, under him. Can you force yourself under someone?
I roll over, shoving my face into the pillows. Could this get any more awkward? What is wrong with me? Could I have been any clingier? I’m all too happy to crawl into his bed and strip down at his suggestion. A little self-conscious at the time, but that didn’t seem to stop me from throwing my clothes off and snuggling deep into his bed. I invited him to join me even after he seemed to want to sleep on the freaking floor.
Clue in, Noelle.
Frustrated, I grab the pillow and throw it across the room. Sitting up, I lean against the headboard and try to think of a way out of this. Maybe I could sneak out in the morning.
This is all so confusing. One minute I felt like he wants to be near me, as if he is longing for me like I am for him. Then the next, it’s like having cold water thrown on me.
I remember the sensation of him over me and how it felt so right. The way my hands gripped him tightly, never wanting to let go. The scars under my fingertips. The scars.