“Hey! I am not naive!”
“Look, an apartment is hardly the place for a goat. It needs to be on a fucking farm, or it needs a garden at the very least. They’re outdoor animals. Not home-kept pets.”
“She’s not just a pet! She’s my family! And the only family I have around me at the moment! And I didn’t know when I got her that she needed a garden! I’m doing my best, okay? I can’t do any fucking more than that!”
That’s the first time I’ve heard her say fucking. Sounds kind of hot, coming from her sweet mouth. And it is until she does the thing I hate most.
She bursts into tears.
“Jesus. Speedy, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“You didn’t.” She sniffles.
“Then, why are you crying?”
“Things have just been a bit rough recently. I’m sorry I got upset.” She dries her face with her hands. “I’ll go figure something out with Gucci, and then I’ll come back to take care of you. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do…”
“Where did she spend yesterday?”
“She was at my apartment.”
“So, why isn’t she there today?”
She shifts uneasily on her feet.
“I don’t have an apartment anymore, okay?” Her eyes fill with tears again.
An unfamiliar ache appears in my chest. “What do you mean, you don’t have an apartment anymore?”
“I was evicted. It was my last night there. As of this morning, I’m officially homeless. I’ve been trying to get a new apartment for Gucci and me, but there’s nowhere that allows pets.”
Fuck. She’s lost her job and her apartment.
And I know very well how hard it is to be stuck with nowhere to go.
“Why did you lose your apartment?”
“Well, after Jeremy left, I was feeling lonely and a bit sad. And, one night, I was on YouTube, watching cute animal videos to cheer me up, and I came across this one of pygmy goats. And they were so adorable, and I just felt really happy, watching them.
“So, I Googled pygmy goats for sale, and a website came up. A farm in Glendale. I emailed them to see if they had any, and the guy responded back, saying he had one left. So, I said I’d drive down in the morning to have a look. And, when I saw her, I just fell in love. She was so sweet and friendly. So, I paid the guy and brought her home with me.
“Only I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to have a pet in the apartment. And she was being a bit noisy, as she was nervous, I think, from being in a strange place at first. And, when I was at work, she apparently made a lot of noise because some of my neighbors complained to my landlord. He said I either got rid of her or I was out. And, of course, I couldn’t get rid of her. So, he gave me a month’s notice, and I haven’t been able to find another place that allows pets.
“And then I lost my job yesterday, and I hit you with my car and said I’d take care of you. So, I didn’t get a chance to sort anything. But I will.”
“You made yourself homeless for a goat.”
She frowns. “She’s not just a goat, Gabriel. I told you, she’s my family.”
I don’t know if I should admire her loyalty or have her committed for making herself homeless for a goat.
“Where are you planning on sleeping tonight?”
She shifts on her feet, clearly uncomfortable at my question. “Well, my friend Logan said I could crash on his couch until I got myself sorted, but he’s not allowed to have pets at his place either, and I don’t want to get him into any trouble with his landlord.”
“You didn’t answer my question, Speedy. Where are you staying tonight?”
She bites her lip, nervously twisting her hands in front of her. “Well, if I can’t get a hotel room, I guess we’ll be sleeping in my car.”
“Where’s all your stuff?”
“Answer the damn question.”
“Most of it is in storage, and my clothes, shoes, and toiletries along with Gucci’s things are in my car.”
The goat has things. Of course it does.
“Go get your stuff from your car.”
“Because you’re staying here until you get things figured out. Oh, and I’m paying you to take care of me until my foot is healed. So, consider yourself hired.”
“Gabe…you don’t have to do that.”
“I might be an asshole, but I won’t see you homeless. And I would’ve been paying for a Big Bertha, so what’s the difference? You can take the guest room.”
“And what about Gucci? I appreciate the offer, Gabe—really, I do—but we’re a package deal.”
“The goat can sleep in the utility room. If she wrecks anything, it comes out of your wages.”
“She won’t wreck anything, I swear. She’s a good girl. Aren’t you, Gucci?”
The fucking goat looks up at her with adoring eyes.
“Are you sure your building will be okay with it? I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“I own this apartment, so I can do what I fucking want in it. And pets are allowed. Well, dogs and cats. Not so sure about goats. But, if they have a problem with it, they can fuck off.”
“Thank you so much, Gabe.” She rushes over and flings her arms around my neck, nearly knocking me off the stool.
But, man, does she feel so sweet in my arms with her tits pressed up against my chest, the scent of her perfume in my nose.
My cock starts to swell with want.
Well, he can want as much as he likes, but Speedy is now officially off my radar. I don’t shit where I eat.
Never fuck anyone who works for me or with me.
I know people think I screw every actress I work with, but it’s just not true. And, trust me, it’s hard not to screw them at the time. Of course, once I’m done working with them, all bets are off. But I have that rule for a reason. I was once told never to mix business with pleasure; it’s too messy. It’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given.
Because I don’t do messy.
No matter how gorgeous or how much I want inside that someone, I never break my rule.
I feel something nudge my leg. And then again.
I lean back from Speedy and look down. The goat is head-butting my good leg.
This little fucker has some spunk.
I start to laugh.
Speedy steps back, giving me a puzzled look.
“I don’t think your goat likes me.”
I point down, and Speedy’s eyes follow my finger.
Her mouth pops open into an O.
“Gucci! No! Stop that!” She bends down and picks the goat up. “I’m so sorry, Gabe. She’s never done anything like that before. Did she hurt you?”
“No.” I chuckle.
“She had her horn removed as a baby. It’s not as barbaric as it sounds. It’s called disbudded. It’s not cruel. Did you know that goats with horns can actually kill each other when they fight? And, if kept as pets, like Gucci is, she could hurt me without meaning to.”
I’m staring at her. Her eyes are red and glazed, her lips puffy, from crying before.
The urge to kiss her is maddening.
I need a subject change and fast. “Ground rules for the goat.” I jab a finger in its direction. “No pissing or shitting in the apartment.”
“Oh, she won’t. She’s really good.”
“If she needs to go, take her out on the terrace and clean up after, or there’s the building’s communal garden downstairs.”
“Okay. Thank you again, Gabe. We both really appreciate what you’re doing for us. And we won’t be any bother. You won’t even know we’re here, I promise.”
I highly doubt that.
Knowing that Speedy’s here and that she’ll be sleeping a wall away from me is going to make this not-fucking-her thing so much harder.
“I need a drink,” I mutter. I start moving away from her, heading for the drinks cabinet.
She’s instantly at my side, the damn goat still in her arms. “I’ll get it for you. You go sit down in the living room. What do you want?”