“So, what will happen now? Are you going to the big house?” She teased.
“No,” I said. “I have the best lawyer money can buy. I’ll be given a warning and they’ll order me to take some classes I won’t attend and that will be the end of it.”
“Oh, you’ve done this before?” Jane mused.
“Yeah, I guess I’m stubborn and I will never learn.”
“That’s a shame,” Jane said.
I thanked her again. I prepared to spend the night in a stupid holding cell with a bunch of other people I didn’t really want to associate with. I wished I’d wise up one day and stop doing stupid things like this. But then again, it did make for an entertaining life.
After I hung up the phone I went into the kitchen and made myself a bowl of ice cream. Ted bought the best ice cream I’d ever had and I couldn’t get enough of it. I was probably going to gain five pounds working for him, but I was sure Taylor would just love it the same. It was times like these, when Ted did the stupidest things, that I remembered what an amazing man Taylor really was. I doubted he’d ever had a DUI, let alone several of them. When I was married to Ted it seemed like he had one almost once a week for a spell.
The kids were asleep and had been for a few hours. We were alone for the entire night. Of course with Ted going out partying I hadn’t really expected that he would come home that night, or at least not until the wee hours of the morning. And knowing him he wouldn’t have the decency to call and tell his nanny that he was going to be way later than she thought he might be. He never would have dreamt of telling her that a few drinks with friends had turned into a full night excursion that was bordering on becoming a wild rave.
But I knew him too well.
I walked around the house for a while, mostly just exploring things and seeing what was different. I’d done this a little bit during the day, but my day usually began when I picked up the kids from school and I had to be careful that I wasn’t seen snooping around unnecessarily under the watchful eye of the butler and the maid that came in occasionally.
But they were both gone at night. I was alone in the home with only my sleeping kids. I started in Ted’s bedroom. Once there I looked through his closet, his drawers, and his nightstand. I saw a box of condoms (good to know he was keeping it safe) and a few strange sex toys.
After that I visited his master bathroom that was even nicer than the one I’d had before. The shower was bigger, the toilet was higher, and there were two sinks side by side. All of it was a dark, rustic, granite color. Tracing my fingers alongside the wall I could almost feel a sense of history emanating from it.
I wasn’t sure what type of effect the place was supposed to have, but it had a very interesting effect on me. As I stood there in the opulent bathroom I began to feel tingly all over, like I was being given a massage by an imaginary person. I hugged myself and stood there shivering for a moment. I wanted to move, but something held me in place.
Finally, I stepped out of the bathroom and the master bedroom into the hallway where I took several gasping breaths. I made my way down the hallway heading towards the kids’ rooms to check on them again, but suddenly I stopped. I realized that I was standing in front of the place where the nursery had once been. It was a spot that lay somewhere between the boys’ rooms. I guess Ted in his infinite wisdom had decided that it made him look like a grieving widower to not want to rebuild the room where his wife died. That was nice of him to be so thoughtful.
I gritted my teeth and moved on. I peeked quickly into the kids’ rooms. They were both sleeping soundly. They always looked so peaceful and at ease when they were asleep. I just hoped they would grow to love me as their mother again. They cared for me now and probably thought they loved me, but only as their nanny, as their friend. They didn’t yet know me as their mother. I wondered several times a day if it was possible that a part of their mind still remembered me. When I was with them, did it trigger a memory or at least a feeling inside of them? Was that why they’d warmed up to me so quickly? I didn’t know enough about the mind or the memory to say with any degree of certainty, but I did like to think so. It was the most comforting thought I had.