“What does this one mean? The wings and sharp teeth. It’s really interesting,” she asked, while she continued to touch me. Normally someone touching my skin would make it crawl. I wasn’t a fan of touch, it meant letting your guard down and I knew vulnerability could cause the kind of damage you could never come back from. Damage which I couldn’t afford. But lying here with Olivia, I wanted her touch me for the rest of my life, all of me, including my scars.
“It’s a map of my life. The pain, the sadness, the sorrow.”
“These wings are beautiful, but they don’t belong to a bird or an angel, what are they?”
“Freedom. The wings symbolize freedom, flying away to something better, something untouched by evil.”
She got up and straddled me, her long hair cascading over her shoulders, her beautiful breasts exposed to me, making my mouth water. Olivia was too good to be true, better than any dream woman my imagination could even attempt to conjure—and she was one hundred percent real, here in my bed, and riding atop me. She placed her hands on the sides of my face and leaned down until the ends of her hair tickled my chest.
“Silas, you are amazing. Anyone who can’t see that is blind.” I grabbed her hips and flipped us over so I was the one on top of her and smiled.
“If I have you in my bed, how come we’re talking about me when I should be worshiping you?” The thought caused my cock to jump and Olivia’s eyes went wide.
“You know nothing is going to happen unless you want it to, right? I would never hurt you, Olivia, or do anything to you that you didn’t want to happen.” She nodded.
“Tell me, Olivia. I need you to say what you want.” My tone was sharp. I didn’t want there to be any confusion. If we had sex, I wanted it to be because she was there with me in the moment and wanted it too, not because she was scared. I would wait as long as she needed, what was another year if I’d already waited my whole life to be with her.
“Silas, I want you in every way. I want this. I want to be with you.” Her affirmation was all I needed. I bent down and crushed my lips to hers.
I felt her gently push my chest and at first it didn’t register, but then I jumped off her, terrified that I’d upset her, or worse hurt her in anyway. She sat up on the bed and I kneeled down so that my face was level with hers.
“You ok? Did I hurt you, Olivia?” I started reeling, I was petrified that something had happened. I couldn’t handle the look on her face, there were tears forming in her eyes and I wanted to beat myself for being the cause of them. Olivia took my hand and brought it to her lips and placed gentle kisses on every scar. What was wrong with me? Why was I pushing her too hard when I myself knew, better than anyone, that boundaries and limits are essential when it comes to intimacy?
“No of course not, Silas. I’m here. I’m yours. I want you. I just wanted to ask about protection. I have never been with anyone before, but I thought…” she trailed off, her voice becoming small. “I wasn’t sure if you were with anyone else and besides, I’m not on the pill.” A wave of relief washed over me. I took both her hands in mine and brought them to my lips. She wasn’t backing out, she was just being smart.
“Remember when I told you I couldn’t stand to be touched?” I asked against her soft, delicate hands.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted, Olivia. I don’t have protection because I’ve never needed it. I didn’t want or need anyone until you came along and turned my whole world upside down, in the best possible way.” I pulled her to me and kissed her lips, opening mine and pushing my tongue into her mouth, wanting to savor her taste for as long as possible.
“You’ve never been with anyone? Then how do you know what to do?” she asked me in wonder.
“With you, Olivia, I can’t even think, I just do what comes naturally.” I pushed us back onto the bed together, my hands began to roam her body, desperate to touch every single inch of her. She turned me into a wild animal overcome with a ferocious need to claim her. I was running entirely on instinct and it was serving me well.
I owned her already, but I was driven to make her mine for all eternity.
The sensations on my skin were unbelievable, but I felt like Silas was still holding back. As long as he held back, we couldn’t strip away our pasts and more than anything else, I wanted us to be naked, completely bare, physically and emotionally to each other. I needed him to feel free to be whoever he needed to be in order for him to heal.