“Jesus, you move fast,” he mutters, his smile widening.
“When she told me she was pregnant, I thought I was going to fucking pass out right there in the grocery store. I have never been so scared in my life.” I shake my head, glancing away for a moment before looking at him again. “I never put much thought into the future until her,” I confess, and it’s the absolute truth. I lived day to day, not thinking about much, until that crazy, gorgeous girl stumbled into the bar wearing a catsuit. And then everything changed.
“I’m happy for you, brother.” He pulls me in for a hug then leans back just enough to look me dead in the eye, wrapping his hand around the side of my neck with a grin. “You ever think two years ago this would have happened?”
“Fuck no.” I shake my head and he lets me go.
“Me, neither.” After a beat, he asks me, “You okay?”
He probably sees the slight worry on my face, so I explain, “Never been in love. You know my family is fucked up.” We’ve had many nights, drinking and sharing parts of our lives not many people know. Wes is my best friend. There’s nothing I don’t share with him. Including everything about my biological parents, and how my aunt and uncle adopted me when I was a kid. “Before Kayan, I didn’t even know what love felt like. Romantic love, I mean.”
What I told Kayan is one hundred percent true. I am in this. I’ve never been happier in my life. Nothing is better than knowing the woman I love has my baby inside her. But at the same time, I’m terrified. What if my genetics somehow take over and I’m the worst father on the planet? My own parents didn’t want me or care about me. They didn’t care about anything besides the fucking drugs they loved more than their own child.
“I worry I won’t do her justice,” I admit, rubbing my chest.
“That’s love, brother. Knowing you’re not good enough, but keeping her anyways—that’s love,” he tells me.
“That’s fucked up.”
He laughs and agrees, “Yep.”
“I want to follow Z tonight,” I say as July locks the doors to the clinic.
I keep telling myself it’s my hormones messing with my mind, but now I’m obsessing. Completely. Obsessing. And if I don’t get answers, I’m going to have a mental breakdown.
“Follow him where?” July asks, and I pull my keys out of my bag.
“I don’t know,” I murmur then look at my best friend. The best friend I don’t deserve. What kind of woman doesn’t tell her best freaking friend she’s pregnant the millisecond she finds out? And it’s been a week! But I shove that aside and confess, even though it sounds absolutely stupid, even to my own ears, “I feel like maybe he’s cheating. He’s been hiding something.”
She frowns at me. “I don’t think Z is cheating on you.”
“Tonight, I’ll find out for sure,” I say, and she knows there’s no talking me out of it.
When we were in college, I dated a guy who was cheating on me. The whole time, everyone knew except for me and July. Well, that was until we went to a frat party and walked in on him while he was having sex with our other roommate, Lynn. The fucking whore.
“Well, I’m going to go with you,” July tells me.
See? That’s how a real best friend treats their girl. Not like me and my secret-having ass. First, I kept having sex with Z from her. And now I’m keeping my pregnancy from her. What the hell is wrong with me? Did my parents really fuck me up that much? I need to find a way to tell her. But for right now, all I say is, “Thank you.”
“I always have your back, even if I think you’re crazy,” she tells me, making me feel even more guilt.
“We’re going to have to find some way to ditch our tail.” I nudge my chin toward Harlen, who is sitting on his bike across the parking lot.
“The anniversary edition of Fifty Shades of Grey comes out tonight. We will just say we’re going to watch it.”
“Perfect,” I whisper.
“Call me and we’ll make plans for the movies!” she shouts loud enough for Harlen to hear.
“I can’t wait to see Fifty’s ass on the big screen!” I shout back, and she laughs genuinely.
Standing next to Z’s bike, I watch as July’s cousin Sage pulls into the parking lot with her in the passenger seat. It was nearly impossible to convince Z that I needed to take my car, but when I finally broke out the big guns—“I’m just really scared to get on your bike, when I have our little bun in the oven”—he finally gave in.
“Hey, Z, are you sure you don’t want to watch the movie with us?” she asks, hopping out of Sage’s truck and skipping over, looking super excited to see the movie. When in reality, I’m sure she’s just super hyper from anxiety. It’s always me who drags her on these “adventures.”