Still, to be on the safe side, I’d tried talking him into firing her and getting someone else, only based on the fact that I wasn’t comfortable with her watching Lily.
His answer was that it was his decision and therefore none of my business. As to firing her, he laughed me out of the room after shutting me down cold.
Now I feel real hate towards her and hated myself even more for it. Why should I be jealous of her? why should something like her have what I no longer can?
And what would everyone say if this should get out? How embarrassing that he would get rid of me and take up with someone like her. I can imagine the laughter.
Right now though, I need to think, think of a way to stop them from leaving this house together or it’ll be all over for sure. I’d tried making Lily sick by feeding her one little bite of the strawberry she’s allergic to, but it doesn’t seem to have worked. Maybe I should’ve added more.
Tonight, later when the house is asleep, I’ll think of something. I bit my nail down to the quick. Another disgusting habit I’d picked up since the divorce. And no wonder.
My nails are a disgrace since I can no longer afford five hundred dollar mani-pedis. I can’t afford a lot of things I once could come to think of it. And what about her? She doesn’t need his money, not like I do.
Why should she get to enjoy my husband when I can’t? And why am I so sure that she’s the one who’s going to destroy any chance I might ever have of regaining my family?
I heard Lily fretting over the monitor not long after I dozed off and made my way there to check on her. Halfway there a light came on down the hall and I peered into the bright light to see Rachel ducking back into her room.
Strange, why didn’t she come check on her daughter if she’d heard her? Then I remembered that she wasn’t allowed to tend to her daughter unless her husband or another adult was there.
So she couldn’t have heard her because she doesn’t have a monitor, and with her door closed she wouldn’t have heard her. Whatever, it wasn’t that important and none of my business anyway. She was probably going to beg him again.
Lily was still asleep when I walked over to her bed but was being fretful in her sleep. I tested her forehead but she wasn’t exactly burning up, though she wasn’t cool either.
Since she refused to stop tossing I climbed into bed and held her. Her bed is one of those graduation beds I think they’re called. It’s bigger than a twin but with rails on the sides because of her young age. And those rails can be removed as she gets older.
Like I said, I’m not fond of kids, but I do know how to comfort a little girl since I’d once been one myself. So I hummed to her while brushing her hair gently in an effort to settle her down.
No sooner had I climbed in and got comfortable under the covers than I heard the door creak open. I picked my head up thinking it was her mother and ready to reassure her that I had it covered, when my eyes met a bare chest coming towards me in the dark.
Brandon walked over to the other side of the bed and looked down at his daughter. “She still not settled?” He felt her forehead as well and just then the little girl called out for him in her sleep.
He didn’t even think twice, just lifted the other side of the covers and climbed in with us. I watched him pull the little girl from my arms and over to him to sleep on his chest, and felt my own chest tighten when he kissed her little head.
He had his eyes open staring up at the ceiling while I studied him in the dark. We were so close in the little full sized bed that I’d thought was too big for the little girl but, I was now praising the decision.
I think I forgot to breathe for the first few seconds he was in here right next to me, in bed. All manner of lascivious things ran through my head as my eyes wandered in the dark.
His voice came out of nowhere startling me. “Do you like what you’re staring at?” Oh shit! my eyes flew up from his crotch and back to his face before I squeezed them shut in mortification. I swallowed twice before I could breathe clearly again.
And then he turned his head and looked at me and all I could see was the light of his eyes in the dark. Strange things started happening to my body and I may or may not have made a very unladylike sound. Think sexual purr.