He sounded so sad as he told the story. I didn’t want to say a word, scared he would stop.
“It was foolish of me. All it did was get a lot of people killed. It gave the resistance false hope that they could win.” He took a deep breath. “They were so fucking wrong.”
“But why stay?” I asked, realizing there was so much more to this man.
He pulled out the dildo slowly and stood up. I turned my head and watched him walk to the bathroom silently. I was too afraid to leave my position. He seemed like a different man since his moment of rage, but I still remembered it so well. He could just as easily go back to that and decide I needed to be beaten or fucked.
He walked back into the room, reached under my arms, and pulled me up to the pillow and adjusted the blankets so they were covering me. Was he tucking me into bed? “You need sleep. Tomorrow is a long day.”
“Loic?” I asked softly, looking up into his eyes as he pulled the blanket to my chin. “I’m confused. You confuse me. I don’t know who you are.”
Sadness washed over his face, and I saw such pain in his eyes. “I don’t know who I am, either.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the weight on the bed or just knowing that Loic was sitting beside me that woke me from my slumber. I had the best night’s sleep that I could remember. An insane fact considering I was being held captive as a sex slave by a crazed sadist and his hired trainers. But even as I opened my eyes to see Loic looking down on me, I still felt safe.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I had fallen asleep almost instantly when Loic had tucked me into bed. I had no idea where he had slept. Looking toward the cot on the other side of the bed, I couldn’t tell. It was still made. Had he slept with me in the same bed as I did?
“Today isn’t going to be easy,” he said softly. Again, he looked pained. “Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat before we go to the auditorium?”
I shook my head. My stomach instantly constricted with the thought of what Pike would do. “Thank you, but no.”
“Never thank me,” he said harshly.
“Why?” Was he returning to the monster who threw me to the ground after my spanking and then urinated on me?
“I don’t deserve it.” He stood up and walked to a collar and chain that rested on the table. “Go use the bathroom and then come out here. We are all supposed to be in the auditorium soon. I have to put this on you. Pike likes his beauties to be his little pets.” He said the last sentence with such disgust.
I did as he asked and returned to the room and stood before him. I was still naked, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. It was quite clear I would never wear clothes again. The sooner I got used to that, the better. This was my new life. Acceptance was my only hope of not completely losing my mind.
Loic didn’t say anything but simply snapped the metal around my neck. He grabbed the handle of the chain that hung from the collar and led me out of the room.
I could hear screams and cries as we walked down the hallway. Some other trainers and their slaves exited their rooms. Some of the slaves were able to walk as I did, and others had to crawl on their already destroyed hands and knees. I saw bloody lash marks on some women, battered faces, and bruises up and down their bodies. Comparing myself to them, I realized that my evening was nowhere as bad as theirs had been.
“You did not beat me last night,” I whispered as we walked. “Other trainers beat their slaves.”
He nodded but stared ahead.
“You aren’t like them,” I said again. I had no idea why I would risk saying something that could force him to cause me bodily harm just to prove that he was indeed just as much the devil as any man on this compound, but I did.
He nodded again. “There was a time I would have agreed.”
“You hate this as much as I. So why?” I asked again, pushing him to see that there was indeed a light present.
Was it thinking hopefully? We were all taught to never hope, but I think I was doing it anyway. Maybe, just maybe, Loic didn’t want this. Maybe there was a chance I could do the unspeakable and escape this place.
“The hatred for this place has morphed into a darkness in my blood. It is who I am.”
“Silence!” he snapped. “Focus on keeping yourself alive today. Pike will not hesitate to kill you. He doesn’t mind having sleeping beauties cast all around him. Don’t make him put you into a sleep you will never wake from.”