Every girl in the place was staring at him – and most of them were salivating. All the guys with them were glaring.
Well, not all the guys. A few of them were salivating, too.
Derek didn’t care. Didn’t even register. He just kept turning this way and that, pointing to different ones and telling me the stories behind them.
The funny thing was, he was so into his tattoos – like an enthusiastic little boy showing off his Matchbox car collection – that he didn’t notice the effect he was having on me.
At least, I don’t think he noticed the effect he was having on me.
Or maybe he did know, and it was all part of a calculated effect.
Either way, he was passionate about his tattoos, and kept on talking as he pulled his shirt over his head and back into place.
I felt very, very sad as that gorgeous body disappeared from view… but also a little relieved. My lady parts were about to spontaneously combust if the show went on much longer.
“I’m going to add a new one, a special design, for every album I do,” he said excitedly.
“Yeah?” I asked, my voice a little unsteady at first. “Have you added the first one yet?”
He shook his head. “Haven’t recorded an album yet.”
“Do you know what the title’s going to be?” I asked, then took a sip of Coke through my straw.
“Yeah. Spirals Go Inward, According to Kaitlyn.”
I laughed and snorted soda up my nose.
After I had finished coughing – and he had finished patting me on the back (unnnhhh) – I said, “Just call it According to Kaitlyn.”
He paused. “That’s actually a pretty good title…”
“Didn’t Adam Levine do something like that? Like, Songs For Jane? No – Songs ABOUT Jane – ”
“Oh my GOD, you did not just compare me to Maroon 5.”
“What? I like Maroon 5.”
“You just like the lead singer.”
“I’m hot. You like me?” he asked roguishly.
I squinted at him. “You’re conceited.”
“That’s true. “
“I’d think you wouldn’t mind getting compared to a rock group that’s sold millions of albums.”
“Savage Garden sold millions of albums, and I don’t want to get compared to them.” He leaned back in his chair and pointed at me. “I know what you like about Maroon 5.”
“That song where he talks about the girl’s so hard to satisfy, and he keeps making her come every night.”
My face immediately turned beet red.
I knew exactly which song he was talking about. One of their first hits, “This Love.”
I actually really liked that song.
And I secretly liked that one line about her coming. It turned me on a little whenever I heard it on the radio.
It turned me on even more when Derek said it.
Unfortunately for me, I was already revved up to 11 by the shirtless tattoo show.
Your roommate missed out BIG time.
The best sex she ever had.
KEVIN – remember KEVIN –
“I told you, I don’t want to talk about sex,” I snapped.
He grinned. “You’d rather do it? That’s fine by – ”
I stood up and walked out of the gyro place.
I was about two hundred feet down the sidewalk when he caught up with me.
“Wait! Wait – I’m sorry!” he said.
He turned around and walked backwards so he could face me as he talked.
“Was it something I said?” he grinned.
I shot him a death glare.
He put up his hands to ward it off. “Okay, yes, obviously it was what I said – ”
“Women are not just sexual playthings for your amusement.”
“I know that,” he said, a little taken aback.
“Not from the way you act.”
“Look, I’m just a sexual person – ”
“Who’s only interested in fucking me?”
“Whoa! Whoa, hold on there, potty mouth!” he laughed.
“Oh – I’m a potty mouth, Mr. ‘Every other word out of my mouth is fuckin’ this and fuckin’ that’? Why am I a potty mouth, because I’m a girl?”
“Hey – hey,” he said, his voice suddenly soothing. He moved beside me and touched my arm, but I shook him off roughly.
“Please, will you just listen to me?” he asked, his voice low.
“Go ahead and talk, it’s a free country,” I snarled.
“Look… I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, and yes, I want to sleep with you.”
My insides turned to caramel and melted sex.
I glanced at him in shock, then looked away hurriedly, afraid he might see how he’d made me feel.