Maybe he feels as desperate as I do.
“Jessie,” he groans, his arms pushing me from him, and yet holding me at the same time. His hands are like a bruising force, but I don’t mind it. I like it. His breathing is ragged. It matches mine. We stare at each other and somehow I’ve ended up straddling his lap while Allen is lying on his back. “This is a bad idea,” he says, his voice thick and hoarse. Maybe I’m fooling myself, but it feels like there is emotion there.
“You’re right,” I tell him, because I do agree.
“Then we need to stop.” he says. His breathing is still ragged and his gaze seems like it is waging a war behind his dark eyes.
I swallow down the nerves that are threatening to overtake me. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m twenty-four, but I’ve spent my life devoted to getting my store up and running. I’ve not had time for anything else—for anyone else. I want Allen and if I only get tonight with him, I’m going to take it and not look back.
I keep my gaze locked with his. Now is not the time to look away. I need him to see how sure I am about this. I take a breath that moves brokenly through my body, shaking me. Then I grab the bottom of my shirt and before I can talk myself out of it, I pull it over my head.
“I don’t want to stop this,” I tell him as the cool air hits my skin.
“Jessie, damn it.”
My fingers fumble with the front clasp on my bra. Allen’s hand comes up and clamps over mine, stopping me from doing anything else.
“We shouldn’t do this, Jessie. It’s not right. I’m leaving in the morning.”
“You told me that.”
“And I still don’t want to stop, Allen.”
“Jessie, we have to,” he argues. He may be saying that, but I’m not sure he realizes that his fingers are brushing against my wrist. It’s a soft touch, gentle and innocently erotic, sending shivers of need through my system. “I’m trying to protect you here, Mouse.”
“I don’t need to be protected, Allen. I want you.”
“If I can only have you for one night, Allen, then I want it,” I tell him, using what courage I have left. His hand falls away with my words and his face looks almost as if he’s in pain. “If I don’t get tomorrow with you, Allen, I at least want tonight to remember,” I add with stark honesty.
I unlatch my bra, letting it fall to the floor, and wait to see if Allen is going to walk away without giving me a chance to belong to him.
I’m scared he will… and part of me is scared he won’t.
I’m a mess.
“Jessie, you don’t know what you’re asking.” I moan out the words, my control nearly snapping. Against my will, my hands move up to palm her breasts. They’re soft and my hands swallow them easily. Her pale skin against my ink looks wrong, but beautiful. Her nipple strains against the palm of my hand. I squeeze it gently, unable to stop myself.
“I’m asking you to make love to me,” she says and how I ever thought this woman was timid is beyond me. She’s everything.
“Where’s your bedroom?” I growl, sitting up, grabbing her hips and holding her to my body as I do. She sways back before clamping her hands down on my shoulders to steady herself. I kiss her shoulder in reward, trying to get control of myself long enough to make this good for her… for both of us. She has no way of knowing that I’ve never truly made love to a woman. Hell, I’m not sure I know how to make this good for her. Fuck, until Jessie, I haven’t wanted another woman. There’s too much in my past for me to let go and enjoy. My reaction to her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
“I… We could… Here…” she whispers, her breathing so damn ragged it’s killing me. She’s ready to go off right now. It wouldn’t take much to give her an orgasm. The truth in that is freeing. She wants me just as much as I want her.
“If I’m going to make love to you, Jessie, you better damn well believe that it will be in a bed for our first time.”
“First room down the hall,” she mumbles, her soft lips caressing my neck. I tilt my head to give her more access, my fingers digging into her soft round ass when she bites me. “Just hurry,” she adds and I definitely agree with that. Her tongue darts out, soothing the skin she just bit and I wonder if she left a mark, at the same time praying she did.
I want her mark. I want something to remind me of her, because she’s not mine to keep. I have to let her go…