“I’m a virgin.”
“Maybe… I mean, your first time should be with…”
“You. I want it with you, Allen. No one else.”
“I don’t know if I’m the right person…”
“You don’t want me?” I ask, suddenly feeling like I shouldn’t be here. I go to move off of him, my arm splayed across my breasts, lamely shielding my nudity. His fingers bite into my hip, refusing to let me leave.
“I want you more than you will ever know, Jessie, and that’s the God’s honest truth.”
“Then, I don’t understand,” I tell him. I’m trying to wade through the crazy mixed signals he keeps giving me, but I’m lost.
“Virginity is special, Jessie.” His words make the heat I feel intensify. I know I’m blushing, but I do my best to fight through my embarrassment.
“Would you rather I give it to another man? Would that make me more appealing?” I mutter, sounding and feeling annoyed. I mean, I know there aren’t many virgins left in today’s world—especially my age. But that doesn’t mean I’m some kind of freak.
“Fuck no. Jesus, I keep screwing this up,” Allen growls and I don’t reply, because he’s not wrong and I’m getting dizzy trying to understand. “You should be able to give your virginity to a man you love and one who will be by your side. Not a man you know almost nothing about and who has to go back to Miami tomorrow.”
“Miami’s not that far away, Allen. It’s in the same state.”
“It’s over five hours, Jessie.”
“I’m confused. Are you trying to talk me out of having sex with you, or are you trying to make it clear you have no intention of continuing our relationship after tonight?”
“Jessie, I just don’t want to lead you on. My life is… complicated.”
“I think I should go get dressed. If my being a virgin freaks you out so much I’ll find someone who—”
I don’t get the words out because Allen’s hand tightens in my hair, wrapping it around his fingers and holding me prisoner. Then he takes my mouth almost violently. His tongue pushes between my lips without waiting for an invitation. He ravages me, taking the kiss over and holding me right where he wants me.
“I don’t want you with another man, Jessie. I don’t want you with anyone but me,” he growls when we break apart. He flips us so that I’m on the bottom now and he’s over me, his face looking almost angry. “I don’t want anyone touching you,” he adds.
“I don’t either, Allen, just you,” I tell him, giving him the complete truth.
He stares at me intently before he bends his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I cry in shock. I wasn’t expecting it, but also it feels so good my body trembles in response. His tongue wraps around my nipple and my head pushes back against the pillow as I close my eyes, memorizing every sensation. He sucks again, trapping the nipple between his teeth just as his hand begins torturing my other breast.
“Just me, Jessie,” he growls, pinching one nipple as his mouth releases the other. “Just me,” he says again, blowing on the wet, distended nub that’s aching to be back in his mouth.
“That feels so good,” I moan, my hips pushing up against his body in reaction. “I need more,” I whimper.
“I’ll give you more,” he growls. “Only me,” he adds just as his fingers slide between my legs.
My fingers push between the lips of Jessie’s pussy only to be instantly enveloped by her heat and the wet evidence of her desire. I find her clit and graze my finger over it a few times, spreading her juices with my finger and using that to help tease her. I can feel her body tremble beneath me and with each carefully organized swipe of my hand her fingers tighten in my hair.
Possessiveness sweeps through me in a wave of emotion I never knew existed. I was trying to do what was right, I was trying to be good to Jessie, but her words unleashed something inside of me I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t let her leave. I couldn’t let another man claim what was mine—even if it shouldn’t be.
“Allen!” she cries as I slide the tips of two of my fingers inside her. I don’t go deeply, I don’t want to hurt her; I need to make sure she’s ready to accept me. I’m flying in the dark here, no idea what I’m doing. Jessie is the first woman I’ve wanted to make love to. If she’s a virgin, then if you count the fact that I’ve never liked sex and never had it sober… I’m a virgin too. All I truly know right now is that I want to make this good for her.
Jessie is all that matters.
I pray I don’t mess this up, that the memories continue to stay away so I can give her everything she needs.