A few weeks ago she went to the doctor, but she won’t tell me what’s wrong. I know she’s disappointed we didn’t get pregnant right away, but sometimes it takes a while. And so what if we don’t have kids? I want to be with her forever, and having children or not having them doesn’t change that. If she wants them bad enough, I’ll make it happen. We’ll adopt or have a surrogate. Whatever she wants is what I’ll give her. End of discussion.
I don’t know if that’s what her doctor’s appointment was about, but I know Paige. Something is bugging her, but I know I can’t push her. She’ll tell me when she’s ready, and when she is, we’ll work through it. Together.
I ride the elevator up to our floor. We moved all my stuff up here, including the Paige Shrine, as she likes to refer to it, as soon as we got home from our honeymoon. I open the door and see Paige sitting in the living room with her head in her hands, sobbing.
I run over to her and kneel at her side, rubbing her back. “Kitten, what is it? Tell me what’s wrong. Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
She pulls back her hands, and I see her smiling from ear to ear, tears rolling down her face. “I’m not sick. I’m pregnant.”
I look to her lap and see the pregnancy test there, two bright blue lines staring back at me. Suddenly I’m pulling Paige into my arms and kissing her so fiercely that it’s almost like the first time.
“I’m so happy. I love you so much,” I say, when I finally break from her lips, moving my mouth down her neck. Turning her, I lay her down on the couch and push her shirt up, kissing her belly. “And I love you, too, baby.”
Paige laughs and clings to me, and I kiss her all over this time. Her belly, her arms, her legs. Anywhere I can get my mouth on her. I’m relieved she doesn’t have a life-threatening virus, and that she’s been sick because she’s having our baby.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, looking into her dark blue eyes.
“I just found out,” she says, smiling at me. When I shake my head and she sees my meaning, I’m disappointed, because I know there’s more to this than she’s letting on. I can read Paige easily. She shrugs. “I was scared we might not ever be able to have kids. I didn’t want to say it out loud because that meant it was real. I didn’t want to worry you.’
“Paige, I love you. My life is with you. In good times and in bad. We share all the burdens together. Right?”
“Right.” She says, and wraps her arms around my neck.
I can’t stop myself from kissing her as I pick her up in my arms and carry her to bed. “This calls for celebration sex,” I say, and she laughs.
When we make love, it’s soft and sweet, and we both smile while we kiss. It’s like we can’t believe that we’ve gotten to this next step, and it’s both exciting and scary. Afterward, when we’ve each exhausted the other, I hold her and we talk about the future. Our future. A life before us with all the possibilities we ever dreamed of. A world where our love is all that matters. It’s paradise, and I plan on giving it all to her. Because she’s mine and mine alone.
* * *
Four months later…
“GOD, THIS LITTLE boy is going to be a giant,” Mal says, rubbing her hand over my belly as she stands to the side of the exam table. Captain stands at the other side, one hand locked with mine, his thumb rubbing my wrist. I bite my lip to keep from smiling. Today we find out the sex, and both Captain and Mal think it’s a boy, and maybe it is, but what they don’t know is that there are two babies.
I’d worried about telling anyone that I was having twins. I was already told I was unlikely to get pregnant. They worried about Captain’s size compared to mine, and my small body carrying his baby. I was scared, and I knew everyone else would be, too. But the doctor told me if could get to the second trimester, then everything should be smooth sailing. I’ve passed the mark and now I’m nearing the third. I can’t believe how fast it’s flown. Everything’s looking great, and I’m ready to tell them my little surprise. I’m nearly bursting with it.
“You’re almost as big as me and I’m months ahead of you.” Mal looks down at her own baby belly. She’s having a little boy. We thought it would be nice to have two boys who could play together, but Captain’s always wandering toward the little girls’ stuff when we go into the baby sections. I know he secretly wants a little girl, but he won’t say it. I’m not sure I’ll know how to handle a girl, but seeing how much he wants one makes me want one, too.