A loud sob rips from my throat, and he rolls us to our sides and rubs his hand over my back, talking softly as I cry into his chest.
Pulling the blanket up over us from the end of the bed, I hold June against me, feeling each one of her tears soak into my skin. It kills me that she’s crying. I hate even more that I’m the reason for her tears. I shouldn’t have taken her. I should have done things differently, taken my time with her, slowly built back what we once had. But when I saw the look in her eyes from across the room, the same look that was in her eyes the other day when I was on my bike, I couldn’t stop myself.
Hearing her sobs die down, I jerk back my chin and notice her eyes are closed and her body has gone soft. Pulling away, I go to the bathroom and take care of the condom, wash my hands and face, and then go back to her and pull her right back into my arms. Her words from last night have been playing through my head since the moment she hightailed it away from me. Her telling me I was always good enough for her really hit home.
When I left last night, I went for a ride to give myself some time to think. By the time I got back, I knew one thing for sure—I needed to find a way to get her back, to get us back to what we once had. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, the reason I fought to live and to get better after I got back stateside.
Pressing my lips to the warm skin of her forehead, I rest them there. I know I’m going to have a battle on my hands. I hurt her, I know I did. I also know it’s going to take a lot for her to trust me. She’s strong, and stubborn as hell, but I’m banking on the fact that she feels the same pull I do, like I can only breathe right when we’re together. My men and I used to joke that you never appreciate the beauty of what’s under your own feet until you’re walking through a minefield. This thing between us is a minefield of a different kind. Between our history and what I did to her, I’m going to be working hard to make sure we get through to the other side intact.
Lying there, I soak in the feeling of her in my arms, the same thing I did last night while she slept. I missed her so goddamn much—not just her body, but her smell, her laugh, and the way she looks at me like I hold the key to heaven and have personally granted her access through the gate. I’m not stupid enough to think I can sleep with her once and be back to where we were before. I know I’m going to have to work at proving myself to her. I’m gonna have to prove that with me is the best place for her.
I’ve been fighting my feelings for her for so long that now that I’ve let them loose, they are all flooding to the surface at once. My emotions where she’s involved are irrational and extreme at best, causing me to act even more possessive than I used to. I hated it when she was with that piece of shit in Alabama, but I made my bed and was determined to lie in it, even if I was miserable. I said she deserved better than me, but I can’t do it again. I can’t sit on the sidelines and watch her from a distance. If she fell in love with someone else because I was too fucking scared to take what I wanted, I would hate myself for the rest of my life.
Hearing a light tap, tap, tap on the door, I carefully extract myself from her, slip out of bed, find my jeans on the floor, drag them on, and go to see who’s there, not even bothering with the buttons of my pants.
“Is June in there with you?” July asks quietly as soon as I have the door opened up a crack.
“Yeah.” I nod then lift my chin at Wes, who’s standing behind her.
“Can I see her?” she asks, and I look over my shoulder at the bed.
“So your saying I can’t see her?” she prompts.
“You can see her when she’s awake.”
“I can see her when she’s awake?” she repeats in disbelief.
“Babe,” Wes mutters from behind her, and her head swings toward him, giving him a glare, then back to me just as fast, the glare still in place.
“If you fuck her over, I’ll cut off your balls and use them as cat toys,” she hisses, and I see Wes flinch behind her as I fight my own, but I don’t respond. I just raise a brow and wait for her to finish. “Just so you know, I think my dad has a feeling something is going on between you two, so you better understand that if you’re with her, you’re with all of us.”