And so, I kiss him with all I am. I kiss him, and I tear at his clothes. He responds, catching my hair in his hand and dragging my gaze to his, searching my face, looking for something, I don’t know what. I don’t know if he finds it, but he’s kissing me again, and God, how the man can kiss. I shove my hands under his jacket, and he releases me just long enough to shrug out of it. From there is a blur of want and lust. My shirt comes off. His shirt comes off. We’re naked, and his hand is on my breast, fingers teasing my nipple until I moan.
Somehow. we’re in front of the couch, when I’m pretty sure we were just by the door, and his cock is thick and hard at my hip. I reach for it, closing my hand around it, and he squeezes my backside and then smacks it. I yelp with the impact, surprised, aroused, so damn aroused when I didn’t believe a hand on my ass could ever do that again, and yet, it has, it did. I am. But Jax doesn’t repeat that hand on my ass. He drags his mouth from mine, his breath heavy and fast as he curses, “Fuck. Emma—”
Anger and embarrassment come over me hard and fast. “Don’t say what you’re about to say. Don’t do what you’re doing right now. I’m not a delicate flower.” I shove at his chest and look up at him. “Jax, damn it, I said—”
He cups my head and drags my mouth to his. “You’re not a delicate flower.” He sits down with me and pulls me into his lap, the feel of him thick and hard against my backside. “I know,” he promises.
“You want to spank me, do it,” I say, pressing on his chest to look at him. “I’m not—”
“A delicate flower,” he says. “I know,” he repeats. “But baby, until you tell me what happened to you—”
“That has nothing to do with us, Jax.” The words hiss from my throat, no, from my gut, from my soul. “The past doesn’t get to be in this room with you and me.”
“Everything that happened to you is about us. We’re not about a moment. We’re bigger than this moment.”
My fingers dig into his shoulders. “And I’m telling you that we’re more than my past. I’m naked and telling you to just be you, and do you with me,” I say. “If you hold back—just don’t hold back. I liked how you were when you weren’t holding back. I loved how you were when you spanked me.”
I catch his hair in my fingers and lean in, my lips at his lips. “I’m giving you my trust. Be here in the moment with me, Jax. If you want to spank me, spank me.”
What the hell was I thinking? I know Emma has a damaged past, and I pushed her because I wanted her to just say yes to moving in with me. I flip her to her back, with that pretty little ass of hers pressed to the soft cloth covering the leather couch, my body settling over hers.
“Damn it, Jax. What are you doing?”
“I want to do all kinds of things with and to you, Emma. Dirty, dirty fucking amazing things, including spanking your perfect ass. When the time is right.”
“The timing was right now. You got spooked, not me.”
“I pushed you because you didn’t just say yes to moving in with me and that’s not the way for us to do those dirty fucking amazing things. That’s the way to make sure they aren’t amazing. I don’t want anyone or anything the way I want you, Emma. I’m not wasting one minute on anything with you that’s not amazing.”
She softens beneath me, and I roll us to our sides, her back against the couch. “Only amazing,” I repeat, stroking hair from her face. “Like you said. You and me, baby. We’re keeping it all good.”
“When the time is right—”
“I’m telling you, that’s now. I’m telling you, you’re different. I’m different with you. The bondage thing—that’s the only thing I have issues with, and I won’t later. I just—please don’t hold back.”
I want her to tell me York is her horror story. I want her to tell me so I can get to work on making him pay. “Not with you,” I promise, cupping her backside and molding her close. “Not with you.” I kiss her then, licking into her mouth, drinking her in, all of her, because hell, that’s what I need. All of her. I don’t know how it happened, but Emma woke up a part of me I didn’t even know existed. I don’t intend to lose her either. I don’t intend to let anyone take her from me.