That’s what pushes her over the cliff. Me saying her name. “Elijah, oh my God. Oh my God.” Her head falls back on a choppy moan and she tightens around me like a bolt, her hips twisting as she rides it out, feet bashing off the desk. No way I can hold on with her pussy spasming around me, so tight. So fucking tight. I drive deep just as Addison sinks that finger into me and light slashes across my vision, guttural curses ripping from my throat.
Need and pressure leave my body so fast and with such force, I go lightheaded, no recourse but to pound into Addison harder. Light up top. Heavy, heavy, heavy between my thighs. It’s an unusual sensation, but she wraps her legs around my hips and breathes into my ear, grounding me. I’m guilty for liking it, this thing I never considered, and maybe that’s what makes me shake under the force of the good. It just keeps going and going. And even while the storm keeps raging and my body depletes itself on an endless round of climaxing, I’m hit with the sudden certainty that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
That certainty tells me I’ve made a huge mistake.
I’ve never been more thankful to already be dressed. It only takes me a split second to locate my thong on the ground and drag it up my legs. Shoving my feet into my sandals almost simultaneously leads to some balance issues and I have to catch myself on the desk—thank you, bourbon-bolstered orgasm—but I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.
The guy I’m nuts about—hello, understatement—could not be making it any clearer that he would rather be on a melting ice cap in the middle of the fucking ocean, but hey, it’s cool. You win some, you lose some, right? And I’ve definitely lost this one.
Knowing my complexion must be tomato red, I keep my face down and turned away, while I search for my coat. The coat I shed like a lame version of a Bond Girl intent on seduction. What was I thinking? Elijah is well-mannered gentleman who dates female versions of himself. He has probably never had a woman beg so brazenly for sex, let alone dirty talk him and stick their finger up his ass. Oh God. I just stuck my finger up my best friend’s ass.
I mean, I loved it. A lot. But he obviously didn’t. He’s got that thousand-mile stare he usually gets after a terrible day at work. Or when someone brings up his wedding.
He’s still in love with Naomi. He probably doesn’t even realize it, but he is. Ever since he moved in with me, I’ve suspected the change of scenery meant he wouldn’t have to think about her or the incident. But I’ve just forced him to think of it. Her. Haven’t I? How differently things could have been. How great of a match they were, especially compared to him and me.
There is no him and me.
And I’ve probably just lost him as a friend, too.
My legs are still doing a post-orgasm shake and I’ve never been more satisfied on a physical level, but mentally I’m breaking. I have to get out of here.
When I try to leave the room, Elijah blocks my exit. “Wait. Let me straighten myself up and I’ll see you home.”
My heart plummets into my stomach. “You’re…not staying at the apartment now?”
He’s looking down at the belt buckle he’s fastening, so I can’t read him. “The hotel is closer and I have an early morning.”
“Right,” I manage. “That makes sense.”
Finished with his task, Elijah props both hands on his hips. “Addison, I take full responsibility for this. We’ve both been drinking—”
I interrupt him with a laugh. Producing the noise when I want to scream loud enough to shatter the sound barrier hurts. But I do it. “It’s fine. I really don’t need to hear this.”
His brows draw together, like I just suggested we train to become gymnasts. “We need to talk about what just happened.”
“Fully disagree.” Smiling, I pat him on the chest. “I know you haven’t gotten lucky in a while, but you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“It’s not nothing.” I try to bypass him again, but he snags my wrist and draws me to a halt. “Listen to me very carefully,” he says in that deep, southern big daddy drawl. “I’m not going to let this come between us.”
“Oh, really? You’ve already changed your plans for the night.” The words are out before I can stop them and I hate the guilt that creeps into his expression. “You know what? Don’t bother coming over tomorrow, either. I have early workdays, too.”
“I know you do.” He steps back with a laugh lacking all humor, seeming to gather his thoughts. “What we have is honest, Goose. I don’t think I’ve had an honest relationship in my goddamn life until you. Know why? Because once sex and expectations and future plans distort everything, that’s when people get disappointed. That’s when lies are told and promises get broken. I don’t want that to happen to us.”