“Sheep?” I repeat. “What do you mean?”
She sighs and brushes some invisible hair out of her face, looking a little flustered. “How to put this? Matthew is so much better at explaining this…” She glances over at the children and lowers her voice, as if she’s suddenly worried about them overhearing. “These men, they are fierce and they are powerful, and they see the world for what it really is. They see through all the bullshit.”
“Okay…” I drawl out, kind of getting it, but not really getting it. “But what makes someone a sheep?”
“A sheep is a person who believes the laws and rules are there to protect them. To make the playing field more fair when they’re really there to—”
“Excuse me, Lily?”
We both turn in surprise. A middle-aged woman stands in the doorway, cradling a little bundle in her arms.
“Yes, Mary?” Lily smiles at the woman, not looking the least bit irritated by the interruption. In fact, she looks rather relieved.
“Little David is ready for bed. I thought you’d like to say goodnight before I lay him down.”
“Of course,” Lily beams at the woman and holds out her arms.
Mary returns Lily’s smile and approaches, carefully handling the little bundle over. Once the bundle is safely in Lily’s arms, Mary takes a step back and glances over at me. I smile politely at her and then we both turn our attention to Lily.
Lily smiles and nudges some of the blanket out of the way, revealing a tiny golden head.
She coos and speaks sweetly to her baby, and watching her, I experience the strangest pang. Like there’s a spot inside of me that I didn’t realize was empty.
“I didn’t know you had a baby,” I say softly.
Lily glances up at me and gently nods her head. “His name is David.”
“How old is he?” I ask, scooting a little closer to get a better look.
“Three months,” she answers with a proud smile. “Would you like to hold him?”
“Yes,” I fairly gush. I haven’t held a baby since Abigail was born and I suddenly miss it.
Lily scoots closer to me and I extend my arms, ready to accept him. Carefully, Lily places him in my arms.
“He’s fallen asleep,” she whispers.
I look down at the sleeping baby in my arms and the sight of his beautiful little face steals all the breath from my lungs.
I’m stunned speechless.
Beside me, Lily chuckles quietly. “He tends to have that effect on people.”
I shake my head, trying to clear it, but I still can’t seem to take my eyes off of him.
“He’s perfect…” I choke out, marveling at his angelic features. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“He is,” an amused male voice agrees from the doorway.
I finally manage to tear my eyes away from David’s beautiful face and glance up to see the grown-up version of him smirking down at me.
I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve just been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
“Thank you for letting me hold him,” I say softly to Lily.
She nods and smiles as I gently hand David back to her.
Lucifer strides into the room and walks up to the couch. Bending over the back of it, he places a quick kiss on Lily’s cheek and then peers down at his son.
“Mary was just about to put him in his bed,” Lily murmurs quietly and leans into Lucifer.
He smiles and reaches down to stroke his son’s head.
As they lean into each other, staring down at their sleeping child, the moment is so sweet, so tender, my chest tightens and I ache with a confusing jealousy.
It takes me a second to realize I want what they have.
I want the love, and I want the tenderness.
Once the realization sinks in, I abruptly turn away, feeling like an intruder peeping in on a private moment.
Lucifer straightens away first and then Lily reluctantly hands David off to Mary.
“Sweet dreams, little one,” she murmurs sweetly as Mary wraps him back up and carries him out of the room.
“Shall we head into dinner?” Lucifer asks once Mary is gone, and I finally notice the dark shadow lurking in the doorway.
How long has he been standing there? Has he been there the whole time?
Andrew’s eyes bore into me, burning with a dark intensity. “I’m starving,” he grins.
And I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.
Dinner is a torturous affair for me, though everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. Lily tries hard to keep me engaged in the conversation going on around the table but between having Lucifer seated across from me and Andrew directly beside me, it takes all my concentration just to get food down my throat.
And I have to eat, everyone pretty much expects it from me now. Andrew dropped the bomb and told everyone I’m expecting.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him.