Plus, I want to be better for Xavier. I want to be more athletic and active, which is why my feet are killing me right now. For the past two weeks I’ve been wearing Fit Flops, a special type of sandal, to help me drop poundage while I walk. Unfortunately, the only thing they’ve actually done is give me blisters and make me irritable.

But tonight, I put on heels for the party. The shoes are actually platforms, so the arch isn’t that vicious, but it’s still bad. I decide to sit on one of the chairs in the room, relieved to get off my feet. While seated, I look up and see Xavier talking to a group of guys. I know he doesn’t mean to leave me alone; he’s just popular and people like to bask in his aura.

I make eye contact with him and he smiles, walking over to me. He’s already sweaty and red-faced from too much alcohol.

“Hey Ginny, want a drink?”

I smile back and nod, taking his hand and walking over to the makeshift bar the frat brothers have set up, my feet aching with every step.

Luckily, some moonshine will make my feet feel better. I’ll get a buzz, and it’ll take my mind off the painful ache in my soles. Plus, I love the way Xavier orders for me, turning to hand me the alcohol before wrapping his hand around my waist. I might be tired and a little irritable, but my handsome boyfriend makes it all better. He smiles, and then turns to his friends again, starting up a conversation about some TA they all have. I’m bored, so I start looking around.

It’s Friday night and the room seems to be brimming with excitement for the weekend. It’s full of seniors ready for the end of the year with graduation in view. There are two windows with no blinds or curtains, but at least they’re open to let some type of air in. A beer pong table is in the center of the room and different chairs and couches are scattered about. The bar is set up in the far left corner, full of different liquor bottles, beer cans, and an unopened keg. Everyone is clustered in different groups, either already very drunk or on their way to being so.

I sip my drink and consider going back to my comfy chair, instead of standing here listening to Xavier talk to other people. But right when I’m about to make my move, the door opens and in comes what seems like an actual runway show of supermodels. An entire team of six foot tall, blonde, toned soccer players strut in like this party was created for them. I’m instantly self-conscious of my short, curvy figure, and feel like a Munchkin next to these Miss Swedens. Plus, Xavier is gaping at them. Although his hand is still around my waist, his attention is completely consumed by the parade of women.

“Hey Ginny, I’m just going to go say hi to a few of my fellow athletes. I’ll be back okay?” He unwinds his arm from my waist and winks, running off without another word.

I’m taken aback. I stir my drink and sip a bit, watching as Xavier rushes over to Courtney, the most beautiful of all the soccer players. Everyone knows Courtney’s name because she’s one of the best athletes in the school, and also because she’s drop dead gorgeous. Right now she’s wearing a tight pink mini dress with shiny silver high heels. You can see every outline of her body and the woman is absolutely perfect. She literally resembles a toned Barbie doll, whereas I’m a Cabbage Patch Kid. Ugh. I wish I wasn’t so jealous.

Even worse, I’m completely alone now, and feeling all my insecurities as if they are screaming both at me and at everyone around me. I start comparing myself to Courtney, looking at my own outfit of dark jeans and a nice purple blouse. I felt good earlier when I put them on and looked in the mirror. The outfit accentuates my curves, hugging me in all the right places. Unfortunately, the problem is that I have curves to begin with; I could never pull off that pink mini dress.

Not only that, but I don’t know many people here other than Xavier and my friend, Micky. I look around and spot Mick; she’s talking to a couple of guys, but seems to sense that I’m alone and looking pathetic. Micky saunters over, her tall, blonde ass as beautiful as ever. I roll my eyes, annoyed that she’s so perfect, but so glad to have her as my buddy.

“What’s up Ginny? I saw Xavier talking to Courtney. I didn’t know they were friends?” She looks at me with concern. Micky is the type of person that you really hate because she’s both beautiful and nice. She always has my back, but never has my problems of her own to speak of.