Xavier’s jaw drops a little because I’ve never talked to him like this before. I feel like a whole new person, and he sees it, but he still tries to protest.
“That’s just not true Ginny. None of that. Courtney’s just a superstar because she’s a woman. Female athletes get all the attention these days. Besides, Courtney has her priorities mixed up. I always make time for her, and she never does for me! Ever!” He throws his hands up in the air and stalks about the living room. “All she cares about is being some celebrity. Like she even deserves it! Bullshit!”
I roll my eyes as he says this. He’s throwing an actual temper tantrum in my living room right now and all because he’s a small, insecure little man. Courtney seems fine, like she wants to be good at soccer. By contrast, Xavier seems like all he wants is attention, and cries when he doesn’t get it.
Looking back on our relationship, I see now that Xavier was always like this. I was just so insecure myself that I didn’t realize it. I gave him whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and tried to be the best girlfriend to him, but he took it all for granted.
“What about all that talk about wanting someone who works out all the time? That was some bullshit, you know. I’ve been curvy my entire life, and you knew this. So why date me at all, if that’s what you really want?” I’m fuming now, thinking about the way he treated me. I never deserved any of that. Meanwhile, Xavier manages to look surprised.
“What are you talking about? I never said any of that. You’re completely making it up. I love your body! I’ve always loved your body.” He has a hint of begging in his voice, like he’s trying to convince me just as much as himself. I merely shake my head and walk right up to him before looking him in the eye.
“You know what, Xavier? I’ve had enough. You never treated me right, you’re a liar, and most importantly, you’re an insecure-man child that can’t take any sort of accountability for your actions. You’ve been threatened by a powerful woman, and you’re turning to me as your security blanket to bolster your pathetic little ego.” I put my hands on my hips and dare him to say another word.
He looks on the verge of tears, and says, “Ginny, I’m so sorry for how I treated you. But please forgive me. Please. I love you, and I need you.” He’s really begging now, and I almost feel bad for him. Almost, but not quite.
“No. I don’t forgive you, and I don’t want to be with you. Please leave, Xavier.” I say this with as much firmness in my voice as I can muster. I really don’t hate him, but he needs to get the point. I go to the front door and open it.
He looks at me with the knob in my hand, and there are tears running down his face. Man, he’s a slobbering mess. The man who I once thought was invincible slowly schleps out, throwing me puppy dog eyes along the way, but I stand firm. After Xavier’s gone, I close the door, feeling like a gigantic weight is off my shoulders.
I sigh, breathing out all my stress. I can’t believe that just happened because it’s all so unreal. Did I really just tell off Xavier? If that had happened a few weeks ago, I would have taken him back in a heartbeat. It’s so amazing to really know my worth, and that’s all thanks to Castor and Corey.
Obviously, I didn’t know my true worth until I met the two photographers. I didn’t know that I deserved to be appreciated for just being who I am. It’s amazing to realize that I can just be me, and with all the happiness in the world.
I get undressed and step in the shower, reliving my moments with Castor and Corey once again. I just hope that they’ll call soon because I don’t know how long I can go without seeing them.
The next day, I’m in my room studying for finals. I did a deep clean of my room earlier, throwing out everything that reminded me of the old Ginny. I really feel like a whole new person, and upon graduating, I want to keep moving forward and up.
Plus, it felt good to clean my room. My bed is made and my clothes neat. There’s nothing related to Xavier left and I feel lighter, like my spirits have received a reprieve. Add to that the fact that I only have one more final left to take and then I’m officially done, and it puts me on Cloud Nine. This semester did not in any way go the way I planned because it was so much better.