“Your assistance was much appreciated, Ms. Leventis.”
“I can only commend your willingness to go to such extraordinary lengths to keep your place in my class.”
The insinuation behind his words finally became clear, and Diana felt faint.
“If you still wish me to be your adviser, I am of course at your dispo—”
“Why are you being like this?” she whispered.
Dazed, dark eyes pleaded with him, but he hardened himself against the sight, burying his guilt under a sardonic expression. “Barring a possible episode of senility, but have I made you any promises that I’ve failed to recall?”
He waited for her to speak, but this time she was silent, and it was as he expected.
“In the interest of making things absolutely clear – what happened earlier was a one-off thing.” He spoke with insolence that was as much an attack as a way to protect himself, and his reward-slash-punishment was the way she flinched.
Her eyes begged him to stop, but he couldn’t.
Just fucking couldn’t, not with parts of her heart still intact.
“I won’t lie, Ms. Leventis. I find you extremely attractive, and I’ve been driving myself crazy wondering how you would look naked since the first time I saw you. Even so, I hadn’t any plans to act on it…until you or rather this happened. Not that I’m complaining, of course. The whole thing was kinky as hell—”
“But ultimately, the whole encounter—”
Diana could barely breathe. “P-Please—”
“Was a matter of favors being exchanged. That’s all there is to it.” The professor leaned back against his seat. “I hope that clears things enough, Ms. Leventis?” No answer yet again, nothing except a pair of eyes that had become dull with the absence of hope and life, and his chest almost caved in,
God. Damn. This. Life.
God fucking damn this life.
He had the craziest urge to sink to his knees and beg for her forgiveness and barely managed to restrain himself from doing so. One act of stupidity for this day was already one too many, and it wasn’t like he was doing this just to hurt her.
More than anything else, he was doing this for her, and he had to fucking remember that.
Even if it was a truth she wasn’t to know, it was enough that he knew.
You’re doing this for her, goddammit.
So stick to the fucking plan.
“If you’ve nothing else to say, Ms. Leventis—” The professor gestured towards the door with a pleasant smile. “I’ll see you in class.”
I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself by Nicky Holland
Diana couldn’t stop crying.
“I can’t believe I was such a fool, Kat. I was such a stupid, stupid fool.”
Kat was her best friend, but more than that, she was someone Diana had known her entire life, one of the rare few whom she trusted to never judge her.
And so it was to the other girl that Diana had only been able to confess the entire sordid story.
Magnolia and Amine had been concerned as well, of course, and they had naturally wanted to know what could’ve happened to cause Diana to break down.
But all she had been able to do was shake her head, too ashamed of how stupid and gullible she had been.
Such a fool.
Stupid, stupid fool.
Panic clutched at her chest as Diana suddenly realized the many ways things could get worse. “What if he has a hidden camera in his office?” Her voice started to rise. “What if he’s got pictures and—”
The cry of hysteria Katya heard from the other end of the line had her silently cursing Professor Asshole for breaking her friend’s heart. Diana had the sweetest, gentlest soul, and only the worst kind of asshole could have stomached the idea of causing her friend to shed even a single tear.
“Listen to me.” Katya spoke in a purposely sharp voice, needing to distract Diana from entertaining pointlessly destructive thoughts. “I’ve looked the guy up, and while he’s obviously shit when it comes to how he treats women, everything I’ve read tells me he’s not the kind of asshole to extort women that way.” She stopped speaking, letting the words sink in for a moment before adding quietly, “I know you’re hurting. But you aren’t doing yourself any favors by worrying things about you’re both uncertain of and unable to control.”
“It’s just so hard, Kat.” Another ragged sob shook Diana’s form. “It just hurts so much.”
“You’re the one with the psychology degree between us, Di. So you tell me,” Katya pressed. “Do you really think he’s that kind of person?”
Diana dug her nails into her palm, seeing but not really seeing the way they left red crescent marks on her skin.
Do you really think he’s that kind of person?
She dug harder, but the pain just wasn’t enough.
Do you really think he’s that kind of person?
Something splattered against her fingers, and it was only then she realized she was crying.