“That Helder Meer has no rules on fraternization?” A choking laugh escaped her, but she couldn’t even find satisfaction in the way the sound made him flinch. “Yes, I know. And it’s just…I should’ve known…” Oh God, she couldn’t stop laughing. “I really should.” Didn’t dare stop. “Congratulations, Professor de Graaf. You really did a number on me—”
She saw him move towards her, and she stumbled back as laughter turned into a desperate cry. “Don’t touch me!”
The professor froze, the fear in her eyes slicing into him like a blade plunging deep and hard into his heart.
“Was it really that fun,” she asked brokenly, “watching me make an ass of myself—”
“I have never wanted to hurt you,” the professor said tightly.
“And yet reality states otherwise.”
“Believe what you want.” The professor’s jaw clenched. “It’s your choice—”
“There isn’t a choice,” she cried out, “and you know it. There’s only the truth, and I can’t – I can’t keep lying to myself about it.” Her voice cracked. “I just want to know why. Just please tell me why—”
“Then tell me why,” she choked out. “Was it because I’m a novelty? Was it because you were bored?”
“Diana, will you fucking calm down—”
“Was it because you wanted to bag a billionaire’s little sister—”
“Are you hearing yourself?” he bit out. “What kind of man do you think I am—”
A wild, crazed laugh spilled past her lips. “A good man, Professor. That’s what I thought. That’s what I’ve always thought, no matter how many times you’ve hurt me…”
A good man, she thought sickly. She had let him gotten away with so many things – God, she had let him get away with everything!
And all because she had wanted, needed to fool herself into thinking that—
Her skin started to crawl.
He was a good man.
And suddenly she could no longer take it, the very nearness of him making her want to throw up in shame and self-revulsion. She spun away in clumsy haste, tearing out of his office and running out of the building as the sound of his harsh voice calling her name out faded.
I’m such a fool!
Oh, Saint M, I’m such a pathetic, stupid fool!
Despair blinded her, and she stumbled, legs crumpling without warning, falling and skinning her knees, and it was this – seeing blood trickle out to paint her flesh – that was the final straw.
And all throughout this, he watched from a distance, bleeding the same time she did—
But he could not, would not speak the words.
Once was a coincidence, twice was a warning, and there was a fucking reason the Lord kept allowing the Devil to toy with them.
His dark gaze never leaving her small, beaten form, he called one of Diana’s friends, saying simply, “Diana needs you.” He told Magnolia where to find Diana and dropped the call. The other girl didn’t disappoint, arriving in six minutes flat, and the professor stepped back into the shadows as Magnolia helped her friend up.
Lightning flashed, and it was enough, illuminating the look of devastation on Diana’s face as her trembling lips moved in a soundless, fractured plea.
Reading the words on her lips and knowing that he was the reason she had been reduced to begging—
He watched her walk away, and his mind nearly splintered, all of her anguished cries suddenly raining down on him, and each damn word was a flaming arrow that burned him alive.
Was it really that fun watching me make an ass of myself?
I just want to know why. Just please tell me why.
A good man, Professor. That’s what I thought. That’s what I’ve always thought, no matter how many times you’ve hurt me…
But even as his heart felt fit to burst, his eyes remained painfully dry, cold, empty darkness swathing every inch of his skin—
To the point that his tears could no longer break past them—
That the skies wept for him instead.
This is the only way I can protect you, my darling.
Cut out my heart so yours can keep beating.
You Won’t See Me Crying by Passage (Acoustic)
The professor had never thought losing her would hurt this much.
It had been two weeks since everything had blown up in his face, and he had thought he would be long over it by now.
But he wasn’t.
The only times he saw her these days were in class, and it fucking killed him, the way she never even looked at him in the eye and spoke only when he specifically called her out. As for their private consultations, she basically ignored all of his summons, and even though this gave him every reason to flunk her, big idiot that he was, he still kept her on the fucking roster and found himself sending her emails from his private address.
If you’re going to keep acting like a child about this, then at least email me a copy of your draft so I can take a fucking look. Whether you want to admit it, you need my help. I’ve attached a couple of articles that you’d do well to read. It should help you, whatever direction you’ve decided to take with your paper.