“Slow down, or you’ll be smashed before everyone gets here.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” I mutter, finishing another. All I can think about is what Mary’s doing right now. Does she hate me for not bringing her? Probably.
The day went from wonderful to terrible. When Beast showed up at the bar, I had to change my panties, and when he pulled me into my arms, I knew they were ruined. Now, I’m watching him drive away to a party that I’m not welcome at. My heart feels like it’s in my stomach as I think about what he’s doing without me. I’ve heard and read what happens at parties like this with a bunch of bikers. They have a lot of names for the women who come to fuck the bikers for beer and more. I want to throat punch any clubhouse whore who comes near Beast. He’s supposed to be mine. Although, today I pushed him away, reminding him that we can’t be together and leaving him available to every slut around. God, I feel like shit. My stomach churns as I picture him banging one of these bitches on the side of the clubhouse or in his SUV.
“Whatever. Get a hold of yourself. You’re not in love with him.” I shout out the words, but I know that they’re nothing but lies. No matter what I tell myself, I’ve gone off the deep end. I’ve fallen for Beast, and it hurts to the depths of my soul that he can just detach himself from me and bang anything that walks.
I continue to mope around the house, avoiding the kitchen because as silly as it seems, I feel like it’s where he and I became something more than just a handler and his assignment.
Hours pass by, and I’m home alone. I can’t stop thinking about how hot he looked when he slipped on that Steele Rider vest. I had to dry my lips and change my panties. It’s so sexy the way he goes from hard as stone, don’t mess with me DA to this dark, Beastlike biker in his fully patched up vest. My body forgets for a moment that I’m upset, and I crave his hands on mine all over again.
I lay back on the sofa, turn on the television with a large bowl of popcorn, and put on a romantic comedy. By the end of the movie, I hear Beast pulling into the gate. I click it off and clean up my mess before he makes it to the door. He opens the door to see me washing the bowl I used. He’s a little tipsy, but there’s something in his eyes that screams regret. I refuse to ask why because I don’t want to know that he’s been with someone tonight.
“You’re still up,” he sighs as if he hoped I’d be asleep already. I wonder if there’s a woman by the front door waiting to sneak in his room. I know the party is probably for more than the Riders, and he’s just itching to hook up with the easy bitches that show up for men like him.
I shove him away. Maybe it’s for the best. “I don’t have a bedtime. Excuse me,” I say as I push past him. I get the faint whiff of perfume off his clothes, answering my own question. “Goodnight.” It’s the only thing I can say without breaking into tears.
“Goodnight, Sweet Felony.” The strong stench of booze hits my nose, and I’m too pissed to even think straight.
“The name is Mary.” I storm into my room and slam the door. I can’t take this any longer. I really have to figure out what’s going to happen. I didn’t see anyone at the front door or in the living room, but that probably means he already nailed the bitch at the clubhouse.
“Mary? What’s wrong?” I hear the thud of his forehead pressing on the door.
“Nothing. You’re drunk. Go to bed.” I walk into the guest bathroom and close the door loud enough for him to hear and maybe get the hint to leave me alone. I get ready for bed, washing away the tears that have stained my face.
For the next hour, I sit on my bed, thinking about how I’m going to make it through the day and how I’m going to be able to even see Beast without losing it. I pick up my suitcase and flip it on the bed. Loading it up with my clothes, I stop and try to figure out how I can get away without Beast knowing. I sit on the bed and grab my phone. I can’t contact my former co-workers because it’s too dangerous. Twirling it in my hands, I wonder if it’s a smart idea to call Detective Spencer.