Every day I did my best to talk myself out of loving Evan. I didn’t want to love him, but I also didn’t want to not love him. I was a walking, talking, living, breathing contradiction. When I was with him, I was alive. Time spent with him was like riding the most thrilling roller coaster in the world, and I didn’t want the ride to end.
In bed, I did things with him and for him that I never imagined I’d ever do. Who knew I’d love getting tied to the headboard, or that using blindfolds would add to the intensity of my orgasms? And more than anything, I loved having my butt smacked while he took me from behind. My nipples puckered, and my ass cheeks tightened at the memories.
Thinking about what we got up to in bed dampened my panties and sent shivers through my body. Would it be the end of the world to say those three little words to him? He hadn’t said he loved me, but he acted like a man in love.
I tried to convince myself that he couldn’t possibly love me because he didn’t know the real me. He loved the carefree, hair-dying, muffin-baking, blowjob-giving version of me I’d created.
I should come clean and tell him before things went any further, but if he knew the monster I kept inside, he would look at me the same way I looked at my reflection—with disgust.
True, I had been a stupid and gullible kid when it had all happened, but I was old enough to know better. I’d held a gun to Dr. Ryan’s head in front of his wife and kids. My boyfriend Alex, who I’d blindly followed and had stupidly worshipped, was busy ransacking their house searching for the doc’s prescription pad. I would never forgive myself.
A few years ago, I petitioned to have my records sealed. I’d been successful, and in the eyes of the law, it was like I hadn’t committed a crime. But in my heart, I knew differently.
My phone rang, shaking me from the past. It was Evan. He’d called me every hour since he’d left to go home and get ready.
“I’ll be there in five minutes. I’ll come up.”
“No, I’m way too excited to wait. I’ve been pacing up and down my apartment. I don’t know why I’m this nervous,” I admitted. “I guess because I’ve never been to a dance before never mind a fancy ball.”
“You never went to your prom?”
No, I was in a juvenile detention facility.
“Do you think I’m the kind of girl who went to prom. I wore black and listened to emo music in darkened rooms.”
He chuckled. “Why does that not surprise me? I’ll see you soon.”
After we hung up, I grabbed my clutch bag, and with one last fortifying glance in the mirror, I went downstairs.
A few minutes later, a stretch limo pulled up, and Evan jumped out. When he saw me, his jaw dropped, making me feel like a million billion dollars.
“You look fucking fantastic. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t wait to get that dress off you when we get back to my place later.”
I placed my hands on his tuxedoed chest and inhaled the spicy scent of his cologne. “And you look good enough to eat. Something I intend to do on the way home.”
He took my hand and brought it down to his hard dick. “You’d better stop the dirty talk or else.”
“In that case.” I leaned in, my lips close to his ear, and whispered, “I’m going to suck you deep and hard and swallow every last drop of your cum.”
He growled. “Woman, you were made for me.”
My head and my heart battled. My head screamed retreat. My heart screamed full charge ahead. At that moment, my heart was winning.
It was like we had been made for one another. Why had I resisted him for so long? I should’ve said yes the second he asked me out.
Once we were inside the top-secret venue, I couldn’t believe the ostentatiousness of my surroundings. We walked through a magical wonderland straight out of Lewis Carroll’s imagination. The waitstaff wore fairy costumes with gossamer wings, and Cirque du Soleil performers swung above us doing mind-blowing twirls and drops.
“Did we walk through a portal into another world?” I asked wide-eyed.
“Money can buy most things, but it can’t buy a portal to another world yet. We’ve researched.”
I shoved his arm. “Stop teasing me.”
“What? I’m serious.”
We found our table, and when we sat, as if by magic, a flute of champagne appeared in front of me. And they kept appearing. All night, as soon as I finished one glass, another one filled to the brim appeared.
We danced and laughed and had our photo taken a million times. I met people I’d only read about, and I talked about everything from coffee to the environment with world leaders.