“That was really sweet.” I have to admit, when he throws these little tantrums over my attention or being jealous, a little part inside me gets a thrill from it. I know part of him cares.
“Tell me.” He leans in a little more as if he can’t wait to hear what I have to say. “You want to play your violin? I won’t stop you. Your own studio? I’ll build you one. Just tell me what you want, sweetheart, and I’ll give it to you.”
“I wanted to be in love when I got married. Then have babies and all that. Everything is just backwards.”
“You do love me,” Calder growls.
I just roll my eyes.
“Say it.” I can’t count how many times he’s made me say it now. He never says it though.
“I love you,” I tell him. I know he won’t stop until I say it, and it’s true. I just can’t bring myself to say it on my own. Maybe because he doesn’t love me.
His body visibly relaxes. I almost feel like he might be starved of love. It reminds me how little I know about him. Calder has told me nothing of his family. I only know his parents both died seven years ago because I read it online during my internet stalking of him.
“Let me show you, baby. Don’t fight me every step. I can talk till I’m blue in the face and say sorry over and over until I’m hoarse for the way I acted, but let me show you. Give this a chance. You’ll see I’ll give you anything you could ever want. Will you do that?”
“Okay.” What do I have to lose? It’s clear he isn’t letting me go.
He leans the rest of the way in, taking my mouth in a deep kiss. One of his hands comes to my belly, rubbing the little bump. Then he slides me off the counter. My legs go around his waist as he carries me down the hall and into the bedroom, laying me on the bed.
I think he is going to make love to me again, but he slides off the bed and removes my shoes before disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with a bottle of lotion in his hands.
“I read that it will help with swelling if I rub your feet regularly.”
“You read?” I can’t help but giggle.
“I couldn’t sleep last night. I might have stayed up reading as much as I could. I know nothing about babies and pregnancy. I was an only child.” He sits down at the end of the bed, pulling my feet into his lap.
“Do you think we should move? The market is good right now. We could sell this place. Unless you want to keep it. It’s close to your father. Or maybe we could sell this and get one in your father’s building and one out of the city.”
“It’s your place. I’m okay with whatever.” I hadn’t really thought about where we should live. But there really hasn’t been much time with as fast as everything has happened.
“I think if you want to do your own little studio, we should have something here in the city and some place outside.”
“I’m not in a rush to do anything with a studio, to be honest. It was just an idea I was toying with because I needed to do something, and I love kids. Now I kind of want to focus on this one.” I rub my belly, making him smile. “Besides, this is your place. It’s really up to you what you want to do.”
“It’s ours,” he corrects. “We’re married now.”
“I know but—”
“Did you sign a prenup? I don’t remember signing one.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. I have a trust, but it’s nothing compared to what Calder is worth. Mine is a few million. He’s worth billions. It’s probably why my father hadn’t even brought it up, shrewd lawyer that he is.
“Why didn’t you make me sign one?”
“Because it doesn’t matter. You’re never leaving me.” He says it with such certainty.
“You’re so sure. How can you be so certain?” I wish I was that way, that I believed that, but the hurt is still there. The months he’d left me alone. I’d wonder if he could do it again.
“My mother and father were together for years. I want a marriage like theirs, and we’ll have one.”
“You never talk about them.” He never talks much about himself at all.
“I lost them a few years back. The only real family I had. It was hard.” He looks up from my feet and glances at me. “But I have a family again, and I’ll do anything to keep it.”
I stop playing my violin when I feel the thump in my stomach. A smile spreads across my face. That one was a kick for sure. We found out last month that we are having a little boy. I keep thinking I feel him, but I’m never quite sure. That one was a kick for sure, though. I put my violin back in its case and set it on the bench.