Of course, I look down my nose at them. Everybody does!

Tears rolled down my cheeks. Christ, what was wrong with me? Alcohol hadn’t just made me mean, it had made me a complete bitch. I was angry at Cade but I had taken it out on everyone around me.

You’re nothing to me.

Overwhelmed with regret and embarrassment, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I would have to apologize to them . . . all of them. And I wouldn’t blame them if they never forgave me. I had behaved like an ass.

I got up and had a shower, combed my hair with what I assumed was Cade’s comb and found a clean t-shirt large enough to cover the top of my thighs. It was strange being around Cade’s belongings. Touching his things. Smelling the scent of his deodorant still lingering in the air. Feeling his shirt against my skin. I sat on the bed and let my fingers slide through his sheets, imagining him lying naked amongst them. Twelve years ago I had made love to him right here in this very bed. My body tingled, and for a moment I let myself wonder what it would feel like to be in this bed with him. Feeling him kiss me. Feeling him touch me again. Feeling him run his tongue along the edge of my throat and thrust my hands above my head as he slowly and powerfully made love to me. I closed my eyes and felt the longing reawaken in me.

I wanted to check out the scene of the crime.

My eyes sprang open and I pulled my hand back. Twelve years ago I had walked in on him fucking someone else in this bed. I wasn’t the last person he had made love to here. There had been many, probably hundreds of women tangled amongst these sheets since then, moaning and calling out his name as he fucked them.

I stood up. But I wasn’t going to be one of them. Not ever again.

Searching for my handbag and finding it on the bedside table I scooped my clothes off the floor and fled the room.

I was hoping for a clean getaway. But that was never going to happen in an MC clubhouse. Despite the early hour, I could hear voices coming from a main room off the hallway. From memory, it was a room the old ladies used for meetings or events, sometimes kids’ birthday parties. Unfortunately, if I wanted to avoid going out via the bar, which would be littered with passed-out bikers, I would have to pass through it to get to the back door. Either way, I was going to have to face someone.

I clutched my clothes against my chest and made my way toward the sounds of the voices. When I walked in the room, Mirabella, Abby, Cherry, and Anna all looked up from a table covered in what looked like some kind of paper craft. Going by the lack of smiles on their faces, it was obvious I had some serious apologies to give. Without a word, they looked away and resumed making paper streamers.

“I really don’t know what to say,” I said, my voice raspy. “Other than I am very sorry. My behavior last night was unforgivable and I can only hope you ladies forgive me.”

They all looked up again. Mirabella gave me a soft smile. Cherry and Anna looked at her and then did the same. Abby, however, looked uncomfortable, almost as if she was ashamed to look at me.

“Being back here is a bit of a mind fuck,” I continued. “But that doesn’t excuse my behavior, and I really am sorry. I said a lot of shit that I didn’t mean.”

When no one said anything, I felt crushed. And ashamed. But I couldn’t blame them. I was a bitch. And MC women didn’t forgive easily. There was an awful silence as if I wasn’t in the room, and I had a feeling I had blown it. Not that I should care. I told myself that I didn’t but in reality, I did. I wasn’t an asshole but I had certainly behaved like one.

I turned to leave.

“You know, we could use an extra pair of hands with these paper streamers,” Mirabella said. “The wedding is less than a week away and you can never have too many decorations.”

I turned back to look at them.

“We have a lot of wedding buntings to make, too,” Cherry said, holding up a handful of triangle cut-outs.

“And you look like you could use a strong cup of coffee,” Anna said, rising out of her chair. “Sit down and I’ll get you a cup.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. They were going to give me another chance. But when I looked at Abby, I realized it was going to take more than an apology for her. She and Cade were family, and I had slayed her cousin with insults in front of the entire club.


Tags: Penny Dee Kings of Mayhem MC Romance
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