And Kelly Brunton from PE class.
And Julie Anderson who was a grade above us and who liked to sneak me dirty notes when we passed each other in the school corridor between classes.
But this was Indy we were talking about. My Indy. My best friend for as far back as I could remember. I had no business wanting to do those things with her. I loved her too much.
Yet lately, every time I saw her, my stomach would twist like a tightly coiled spring. And at night, my body would heat up and harden with thoughts I usually saved for Mallory, Cathy, Jane, Kelly, and Julie. And every other goddamn female, because let’s face it, I was a seventeen-year-old boy and all of a sudden, every feeling, every sensation I had was heightened like I was on some kind of mind-blowing drug.
But I didn’t act on my feelings toward her. I hid them. I tried to distance myself from her, and I would keep distancing myself from her until I felt normal again. But it had been weeks—months, and my longing for her was only getting stronger.
So, I resorted to this, sitting here on my bed in the dark like a fucking freak, staring across the yard at her bedroom window, watching her undress.
Call me perverted.
Call me a fucking psycho.
But it was better than confessing to her that I was in a permanent state of longing for her. She would laugh at me. Hell, she’d probably put her fist in my jaw and call me a fucking weirdo.
She wouldn’t be wrong.
If it weren’t for the fact that Mallory was coming over later, I’d probably have to take care of what was raging in my jeans.
But for now, I would have to settle for silently watching the girl I had fallen in love with but could never have.
She disappeared from view and I waited, wondering what she was up to. When she reappeared, she was wearing jeans and a simple tank top. Even from this distance I could see the muscle tone of her arms, and the smooth tan she had gotten over the summer. I watched, mesmerized, as she brushed her long blonde hair and pulled it back into a ponytail. Desire tore through me. In my mind, she smelled like sunshine and jasmine, and her skin felt like velvet to touch. In my mind, her lips were like wine and I longed to drink from her.
What. The. Fuck. Was. Wrong. With. Me.
I heard a car pull up. Even though I couldn’t see from where I sat on my bed, I knew it would be Mallory. She was early. But when the knock on the door didn’t come to my front door, I leaned forward to get a better look out the window, and saw Tommy Baker standing on Indy’s front step.
Alarm lurched through me.
What the fuck was Tommy Baker doing at Indy’s house?
I rushed to the window and gripped the windowsill until I was white knuckled.
Seconds later, Indy’s front door opened and Jackie Parrish filled the doorway.
Relief flooded through me. No way in hell Jackie would let that preppy little fuck anywhere near his daughter.
Yeah, Jackie. You stop that sonofabitch from being anywhere near your daughter. He’s a skeeze, Jackie. A real skeeze.
But relief turned to panic when I saw them shake hands and Jackie invited him inside. Granted, Jackie didn’t look impressed, but then, Jackie never did. It didn’t mean he saw Tommy for the douche that he was. I gripped the windowsill even tighter until the tips of my fingers stung with pain.
Indy’s light turned off and I watched in misery as the front door opened again, and she stepped into the dusk with Tommy Baker at her side.
They were going on a date.
Heat prickled at the base of my skull.
If he touched her, I was going to break every bone in his dweeby little body.
I grabbed my phone and texted Mallory. Sorry, babe, have to cancel tonight.
I couldn’t hang out with Mallory now. Not when Indy was out with that douchebag. Last week he had bragged in the locker room about finger fucking Mindy Carlton. Last month it was about Laura Hope, and how he’d fucked her in the back seat of his daddy’s Ford. If he bragged about Indy that way . . .
I turned around and punched a hole in my wall. Pain glowed in my knuckles but I couldn’t care less. Not when my girl was out with a maggot.
I waited until they left, then knocked on her front door.
Jackie answered almost immediately. “What can I do for you, son?”
“Is Indy home?” I asked, knowing full well she wasn’t.
“Just missed her. Gone to the movies with some preppy kid from school.”
There was only one cinema in Destiny, so it would be easy to find them.